By Melissa Antoinette Garza
THE MIDNIGHT HOUR (1985) was one of my favorite movies growing up. It was a made-for-TV, 1980s, crazy horror musical with vampire witches, pilgrim demons, resurrected werewolves and a zombie little person. You’ve stopped reading this review and just Googled this movie, didn’t you? I can’t blame you.
The film starts with a kind, sweet, sensitive, shy boy named Phil (Lee Montgomery). Phil who is like the cutest boy in this high-school of twenty-something year old students, but he is ignored by all he girls. He actually has eyes on one of them, but she’s a devilishly heart-breaking minx.
Mary Masterson (Dedee Pfeiffer) is gorgeous. She’s sexy and spunky and I can totally see why Phil would fall for her. She’s total 80s fem. I would want to be with her if I was Phil, but she’s so mean. She leads Phil on and is just never straight with him. She knows he has a thing for her and instead of just breaking it gently, she plays with his heart and then flirts with this Frankenstein asshole at the party. Yep, she hurts Phil for some dude at the party that has a gelled back douche machismo haircut and a stupid tweed pressed jacket that is far too fancy a thing that Frankenstein’s monster would ever wear. I don’t like him. He doesn’t really say that much in this, but I hate that prick.
Well, Mary shows up at a Halloween party dressed like Bride of Frankenstein leaving poor Phil in the lurch. His friends are always assholes to him. Among the group are Melissa (Shari Belafonte) the descendant of sultry seductress witch vamp Lucinda (Jonelle Allen). How many of my fetishes do you want to put into one gal? Lucinda is a sexy, bisexual vampire and she has a motive of justified revenge as the catalyst for her destruction. I love Phil, but when Lucinda comes to play, I’m totally aligned with that fem goddess.
After Melissa is Mitch Crandall (Peter DeLuise). Mitch has an abusive drunk father who is also a judge (Kevin McCarthy). Daddy Judge rants and raves when he finds out Mitch and friends broke in and stole a bunch of costumes from a local museum. He’s pissed and he doesn’t have healthy techniques to deal with outrage.
Judge Crandall isn’t the only one upset. Timid, pretty boy Phil was also against the theft. Still, he was overpowered by a group of ragtag teenage hoodlums. Phil needs protection. He needs some saucy protection.
If Melissa, Mitch and Mary wasn’t causing enough problems there’s also Vinnie (LeVar Burton). He’s Melissa’s boyfriend and a nice enough guy, but he encourages everyone to read a curse that summons all these singing, dancing and killing ghouls. He’s not a good friend. He broke the seal on the sacred scroll. This is sort of on Vinnie, but at least he’s happy about it.
Thankfully, Phil does meet one good friend that night. After the impromptu graveyard seance that unbeknownst to them raise the dead, Phil goes to the party. It’s there that the he sees Mary making eyes at Frankenstein. He takes off and meets Sandy Matthews (Jonna Lee).
I love Sandy. She’s a ghost, but Phil doesn’t know it. He sees a bunch of weird looking misfits and some crazy psychos but dismisses them as enthusiastic well-costumed party-goers. Sandy doesn’t look like a ghost. She’s dressed in a cute 50s cheerleader costume and is immediately taken by Phil and his 1960s powder blue, Cadillac convertible. He gives her a lift and she gives him one too. After drag racing, she pulls him in the back seat and the two get hot-and-heavy. Sadly, zombies interrupt, and they’re not like Sandy. They’re real zombies this time. If it was a bunch of sexy gals in cheer-leading uniforms rushing the car, I think Phil would have had a different reaction; and with Sandy’s prowess she may have been down too. The world will never know.
Instead, nearly everyone in town has been bitten by Lucinda or Melissa who was turned witch vamp. They all turn into vamp zombies. Phil and Mary go to the police but the fuzz just laugh at them. If Sandy gets to call Kurtwood Smith’s character the fuzz, I want to do it too.
Sandy’s cool. I want to hang out with Sandy. She’s much better than bitchy, two-timing Mary! Then again, Sandy is so sweet she could try to smooth things over and invite Mary and Phil over for a threesome… I mean sleepover. Yeah, that’s it. Sure, why not?
In the end, there is only one chance to save humanity. They must reverse the spell sending all the creatures back to the other side.
NOT SANDY! NOOOO. Don’t Go! I love you Sandy! Stay with Phil. Ummmm….I mean, that was the reaction I had to this movie when I was a kid. Yep. I’m a grown up now. I don’t cry at the end of this anymore. I’m an adult!
The music is tremendous and I just love Wolfman Jack so much. Admittedly, the story is nonsensical silliness, but it pays homage to all sorts of horror classics.
The cast is sensational despite having to play characters quite younger than themselves.
I watch this a few times a year every year. I remember when they first put it on VHS, I was ecstatic. I had an old VHS that was taped off TV but the official release was amazing. Now I know it’s on DVD and on digital. It’s also on YOUTUBE for those who just want a free film to enjoy.
Is there home movies footage of me at 10 years old singing I’m Dead You’re Dying and doing the choreographed dance? Why? What have you heard?
Scared Stiff Rating: 8.5/10
