By James Witherspoon
Yo, check this out. I just heard that my boy, Tom Brady, just got put on blast by these EBT warrior, cellar dweller, soy boy trolls that are always starting trouble. Y’all know that Brady is rich, famous, and has a hot wife that is even sexier than your anime girls that you jack it to. YA HEARD!
Now, when you’re on top of the world, like Brady, you’re gonna have a lot of haters. Just like my boy, Marcelo Rossi, the priest that was pushed off a stage for putting porky bitches on blast. YA HEARD!
Now, I called my boy, Brady, and he had the following to say:
“James, first and foremost, you deserve a ring for your writing. I love your stuff and give my best to Marcelo Rossi. If I was there, I would have thrown that pigskin at that pig and knocked her off the stage before she got to the padre.
Now, I was nice enough to share my vacation video with all these fan boys that have man crushes on me and this is how they repay me? I see these fat ass football fans get a bad reputation for getting drunk and painting their faces the color of the team, but I’ll take those fat rejects over those comic book geeks that sit on line all the time and troll. Say it to my face and I’ll slap you and then make it with my hot wife.
James, please right this wrong. I’m sick of the bullshit. Also, please tell all the fat soy boys out there to stop emailing me for free autographs. Get a job losers.”
Tom, I gotcha.
