By Melissa Antoinette Garza
Blackberry brandy, weed and NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR (1985) makes for a good Wednesday night at the bro’s. Admittedly, I’m still a bit high so this review may be all over the place, but I will try to stay focused.
I love this anthology. The film is made up of three short stories that were actually full length films originally. Both the features and the shorts are done remarkably well and I appreciate both for what they are. Several times a year, I’ll throw this in and enjoy the over-the-top campiness and crazy spectacle of insanity that the flick is.
The movie starts off on a train. There are singers and dancers having a grand ol’ time as in another room God (Ferdy Mayne) and the Devil (Tony Giorgio) are sitting at a table, tuning into certain people to determine who gets their souls. This is the wraparound that pulls us into each story.
The first is THE CASE OF HARRY BILLINGS which is a reduced version of the film SCREAM YOUR HEAD OFF (1981) which was never finished and not completed by the director. Years later, director John Carr reedited it into MARILYN ALIVE AND BEHIND BARS (1992).
The short is a simple one. Harry (John Phillip Law) is a good looking guy who is kidnapped by a corrupt hospital. He is then used to lure victims in so that the surgeons can steal their organs. Richard Moll is both in this tale and the final one. Here, he portrays a dastardly and evil orderly who gives gleefully over-the-top reactions when finally struck down.
The next tale is THE CASE OF GREAT CONNORS. The full-length version goes by many names DEATH WISH CLUB (1983), CARNIVAL OF FOOLS, THE DARK SIDE OF LOVE or as it’s offered on the SPECIAL EDITION: NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR (1985) DVD as a free bonus feature, GRETTA.
The full length feature, though having a few horror elements was more of a suspense than a horror. Both the short and film adaptations surround Gretta Connors (Meredith Haze), a fun sexy girl taken in by a rich man. She ends up joining his cult where they play Russian Roulette style games. Each time, one of the group dies. I love Gretta. She’s gorgeous and vampy and playful. She’s ready and up for anything and has the 70’s/ early 80s natural beauty that hits hard.
In the NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR version, sequences are added in attempts to make it scarier. It doesn’t work. It’s actually quite hilarious, but I love it regardless. For example, there’s a stop motion animation of a flying insect that attacks a couple in a park after escaping. There are a few other strange additions that were added into the short and overall they work marvelously together. I still suggest watching the full film as it’s intriguing and oddly delightful.
The last tale is my favorite. Oh, how I love this tale. First, legend Cameron Mitchell is in it! He’s fab. Second, it’s about a sexy evil Satan with hooves that fucks the ladies and has a harem. Yummy! Last, Richard Moll portrays atheist and pompous writer James Hansen. He doesn’t believe in God or the devil and thinks his wife Claire (Faith Clift) is naive to believe in such things. He’s such a caricature of those who pretend they know everything and Moll nails the role.
Meanwhile, an old man and holocaust survivor Abraham Weiss (Marc Lawrence) sees a horrifyingly familiar face on TV. Olivier (Robert Bristol) a devastatingly handsome evil little thing with shaggy black hair and a gorgeous suit is shown on the small television. Though, he hasn’t aged, Weiss is sure that he’s the Nazi he remembers. He calls the police and Lt. Sterne (Cameron Mitchell) gets on the case. He begins investigating.
Olivier is not only an old Nazi, but he’s the devil – or the friend of the devil. I don’t know. He’s sexy AF but he did a lot really bad things! He kills all the time and he worked for Hitler – so there’s that.
At one point, he’s about to rock this chick’s life and she’s all into it, but then he gets hooves. I’ll say this – the hooves wouldn’t be a deal-breaker for me. The Nazi thing would have been, but I could have gotten over the hooves.
Claire is taken in by Olivier’s charm while James tries to wrap his mind around the supernatural elements to what is going on. Sterne though skeptical knows something isn’t right with Olivier and begins to uncover the truth of the ageless demon’s origins.
I love this flick. The entire movie is so much better. THE NIGHTMARE NEVER ENDS (1980) is a must-see for any horror fan, but if you’re in the mood for an anthology, the reduced cut shown here is very suitable.
I love this flick. It only has a 3.9 on IMDB but those fuckers don’t know what they’re talking about. Only horror fans should vote on whether horror flicks are good or not. If you don’t like or appreciate the genre, don’t vote on it – you bunch of pricks!
Track this one down. It should be easy. It’s everywhere. Hell, it’s on TUBI for free and someone also uploaded it on YOUTUBE as well.
Scared Stiff Rating: 8/10
