By Geno McGahee
Perhaps I’m a coffee snob and that is why my review of MARKET & MAIN ITALIAN ROAST COFFEE is so scathing, but I am trying to be fair about this. I didn’t expect Starbucks coffee when I bought a pack of 18 Keurig-compatible single-serve coffees for $5.99 USD.
I began my day with a cup of 1850, which is actually decent coffee. I liked their marketing approach and gave them a shot and am glad that I did. For a cup of coffee, you could do worse, like Market & Main for example. So, I brewed the Market & Main Italian Roast and noticed right away that it was light. I’m used to the Italian blend being dark, but this one was not, and I used the proper amount of water for you pricks out there that will suggest otherwise.
I added just cream to the coffee because I wanted to taste it without my trusty hazelnut syrup that I like to use. It was weak as hell, which is what I suspected. I felt that I was drinking very hot water. So, I added hazelnut syrup to it to make it taste better and now it was like I was drinking very hot water with hazelnut syrup. Well, this sucks ass. I’ve only drank one of the eighteen I have. Well, now I know to offer coffee to any and all guests that come to my home. I have to get rid of it one way or the other.
I did finish the cup because I felt I needed to to be fair with this review. It didn’t give me heartburn, which is good. That’s a point for the people at Market & Main. A lot of cheap coffees tend to give me heartburn. That’s the only positive I can come up with for this product. Damn, Ocean State Job Lot, be a little pickier with your shit. You’re 0-2 in my product reviews.
Despite my dislike for this product, there are people, for some reason, that prefer weak coffee and this will fill that void. This is also good for those scumbags that sit at Denny’s and take full advantage of their free refills on their shit coffee without ever ordering any food or leaving any tip.
For anyone that likes a good cup of coffee with flavor or strength, this is not for you. This is very weak and flavorless shit that is only good for the guests that you don’t care for too much. You can smile at them and note “isn’t this good coffee”, making them drink it down and pretend it’s awesome. Otherwise, avoid this coffee and get some of that 1850 stuff. It’s relatively cheap and tastes pretty damn good or go with Starbucks, but I probably didn’t have to tell you that.
