Reviewed by Melissa Garza
Sometimes when you have the option to rent or buy, you know the movie is going to be great enough to own and you opt to spend the extra $$ to buy it. Such was the case with Machete. Danny Trejo beating the hell out of people was something I knew I would enjoy.
I can’t tell you why it took me so long to see this movie. I think I wanted to see it so badly in the theatre that I was punishing myself for not going. Well, I was an idiot. I should have seen this as soon as it was released.
The movie begins with Machete (Danny Trejo) going in a house and slicing the throats, stabbing, and even shooting a bunch of guys. A naked chick is found and Machete attempts to save her but she betrays him and stabs him.
His wife is killed in front of him and he is told his child has been murdered too. The enemy, Rogelio Torrez (Steven Seagal) thinks of beheading him but instead sets the entire house on fire and leaves sure that Machete is dead.
Fast forward three years, Machete suffers trying to find work. Luz (Michelle Rodriguez) a woman who runs a taco stand and also runs the network to get Mexicans across the border shows Machete some love and gives him food on a day where he cannot find work.
Meanwhile, the evil senator John McLaughlin (Robert De Niro) travels with Von Jackson (Don Johnson) to the border and kills Mexicans going as far to cheer as a pregnant woman is murdered.
Michael Booth (Jeff Fahey) who works on McLaughlin’s campaign sets up Machete. He hires him to kill McLaughlin saying that he thinks keeping Mexicans out are ridiculous. Machete goes to shoot the senator but instead is shot. Then a cohort of Booth’s shoots the senator in the leg. They all point to Machete saying he was the one who shot him. This helps McLaughlin’s campaign immensely and puts Machete on the run.
He gets hunted by numerous people working for Booth. He ends up being taken to a hospital that helps Mexicans and believes in the cause.
During his hunt for revenge he has sex with a few women including Booth’s wife and daughter. Soon he is caught by Agent Sartana (Jessica Alba) who doesn’t turn him in but rather finds herself believing his story. She falls for him hard when she gets the evidence and changes her stance on the letter of the law. She starts to think in the same way Luz does; that laws are sometimes wrong and when they’re wrong they’re not laws.
The romance between Sartana and Machete is sweet. One can’t help but root for the two to get together. Trejo is excellent at going from a badass to a romantic in moments. Sometimes he combines the two. The greatest thing about this movie is that they understand what they have with Trejo. He’s sexy and can seduce women easily. More movies should concentrate on this aspect. He’s a great actor who can portray pretty much anything but when he’s kicking ass and seducing women, he is perfection.
I for one cannot wait for Machete Kills. I don’t care what I have to do, I will be in the theatre opening day with bells on. This is my vow to my readers. The day that Machete Kills comes out, I will review it.
I would be foolish to overlook Cheech Marin’s performance as a priest ready to kill for his brother. His portrayal of Padre was phenomenal. Watching Cheech take out guys holding too huge guns was fantastic. He is a comedic icon and I am so glad he was in this film. I get excited every time I see Cheech. I’ve watched him since I was a kid…which may pose the question as to why I was allowed to watch those films so young – but hey I turned out alright, I think.
Do I even have to mention the other acting? Robert f’n Deniro was in this playing a racist jerk! Don Johnson was fantastic as the border patrol. Fahey was great as the a-hole who set Machete up. And the women….the women were phenomenal. Michelle Rodriguez is not only one of the sexiest women of all time but has the acting chops to pull off both the hard-ass taco stand owner and the revolutionary who will fight to the death to keep the Mexicans safe.
Jessica Alba is able to say one of the greatest lines in not only the film but cinema history. “We didn’t cross the border! The border crossed us.” Her arc of going from a law abiding citizen to an aid of the people was captivating.
Rarely do I give new movies this rating but hell if it doesn’t deserve it. It deserves it because underneath the blood and guts and swinging on intestines (actually a scene – so great!) there is a political message. It shows the pain of the people who are looking for something better and their willingness to risk their life to get it only to be greeted with such disdain if not violence. This is a great movie for the powers-that-be in Arizona to watch.
Now, I demand that if you don’t have this in your collection to get it in there! I bought at Blockbuster. They had it on DVD for $7.99 and on Blu-Ray for $12.99. It may be cheaper somewhere else but even for triple that cost, it is well worth the cash.
Scared Stiff Rating 10/10
