By Geno McGahee
In 1996, Damon Wayans and Adam Sandler were in a notable action/comedy called “BULLETPROOF.” Now, for some reason, we have a sequel without Wayans and Sandler that has surfaced on Netflix and has me questioning why I even pay to have Netflix.
Even though the character names of Carter and Moses are the same as the ones in this film, we find out that the BULLETPROOF we knew with Sandler and Wayans was a movie and it was based on the characters in this sequel. Carter (Faizon Love) is a detective that gets involved with the Mexican cartel and a guy named Spyder, posing as his buddy Archie Moses (Kirk Fox), for some reason. It gets botched and now the cartel is after Moses.
Carter shows up at the strip club where Moses works to find him and he is working as a cleanup guy, which was supposed to be funny, I guess. Now, I’m going to point out the elephant in the room here. Faizon Love is totally unbelievable in this role. He is morbidly obese and can barely walk but they put him in the role of a lady’s man that can beat up people like crazy. You cannot have a tremendously overweight action hero. Love being so fat is not this movie’s biggest problem though.
At the strip club, we get to meet Moses and my god, what a fucking wreck. Now, I’m not the biggest Sandler fan, but if he was dead, he’d be spinning in his grave right now. Fox tries to sound like Sandler and tries to be funny, but the material sucks and I found Fox annoying from the second he was on the screen. Love and Fox work off each other and try to create witty banter but it’s about as unfunny and dreadful as it gets.
The two characters talk about the movie that they made about them and mention Sandler and Wayans in the film. It’s odd that I was offended that they mentioned their names in this, considering that I’m not a huge fan of the original and have been trashing Sandler for years. I just hated this movie so much that I felt bad for Sanders and Wayans.
Carter and Moses team up and end up hanging with Spyder and his crew and the ladies all seem to be chubby chasers, wanting to make it with Carter. I don’t know why they keep on trying to sell this. These are incredibly hot chicks that are flocking to a guy that is 250 pounds overweight, but I would understand it if they had to pick between him and Moses, the most annoying geek I’ve seen in years.
The film goes on forever, and I didn’t laugh once. It was about as bad as it gets. This film is total shit that has zero redeeming values. BULLETPROOF 2 is terrible, an insult to the original, an insult to Adam Sandler, an insult to Damon Wayans, an insult to film, an insult to streaming, an insult to action, an insult to comedy, an insult to women and a kick in the balls for the audience.
