By Melissa Antoinette Garza
ZOMBIE HIGH (1987) is an overlooked horror comedy that deserves more praise than it gets. It’s silly and strange, but it’s a nice homage to movies like THE STEPFORD WIVES (1975) and INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1956). The camp 80’s quality to it is spectacular. The zaniness of the characters is fun in an over-the-top caricature type of way. I love Virginia Madsen. She’s an eternal fem crush of mine. Then there’s Paul Feig playing a guy who hits on Virginia Madsen’s character. It’s all sorts of adorable. He looks like Scott Thompson from THE KIDS IN THE HALL. He’s so obviously 100% fem goddess gay. I just want them to give him a cute little boyfriend, but alas 1987 mainstream cult could only go so far. Still, we do get Feig in all of his glory in this and I love it. I wish he was in it more.
The film begins with Andrea (Virginia Madsen) transferring schools much to her boyfriend Barry’s (James Wilder) dismay. At the new school, she meets her fabulous fem, but completely straight friend Emerson (Paul Feig) who hits on her and then every other gal in the school, because he’s 100% totally straight guys! He’s just quirky (that’s the 80’s gay code my mom used on Boy George).
Andrea is a rebel goddess without even trying. Other girls don’t like her and won’t let her sit at their lunch table. She tries to befriend hardcore punk Felner (Scott Coffey) by offering tutoring, but that dude just don’t get it. He’s too angry to try to make a move. He turns her down. That said, he is torn as he is ready to bolt and isn’t looking for any strings to attach him there. He tries to bolt, but a bunch of white collared, preppy students in suits surround him.
Next time she sees Felner, he’s an attentive student that seems as though he barely knows her. Other friends of hers end up in similar conditions.
Andrea is momentarily preoccupied with Professor Philo (Richard Cox). Philo is repulsive. He’s too much older, he has gross curly black hair and he wears a bitch ass pervy smile. YUCK. He hits on her and is nice in the grossest possible way. It’s all a disgusting little prelude to get Andrea in bed. I hate him. I hate him so much. She’s too young for him and he’s working her naivete. He’s a predator douche-bag that makes her feel like she has to apologize for not fucking him. BLECK.
He confesses he’s over a century old loon who has made himself immortal and controls the students with crystals. Without a chemical the faculty of the school will turn into their real age and die.
The students impacted by the crystals also become zombies, just not the type we’re accustomed to. Everything is methodical or with purpose. They do exactly as they are supposed to. It’s really the same type of control as THE STEPFORD WIVES. Philo offers to make Andrea eternally young and be with her, but she refuses. He’s nasty and I hate him. Even when the movie paints him as a hero, I hate him. I want to punch him in the face.
Thankfully, Barry breaks into a school dance to save Andrea. He’s immediately noticed as someone who isn’t one of them as he dances freely and not in the robotic way everyone else is. Before they can attack him, he goes looking for Andrea. The two lovebirds run into one another and head over to the infirmary. With the entire school on their tracks, Barry insists on Andrea going to the police while he works as a decoy and keeps them preoccupied.
Andrea gets to the police but they’re skeptical. The school traps Barry and while he’s asleep the naughty nurse (Abigail Hanness) gets a tad bit naughty, but the scene cuts away before any real fun can be had. After Andrea’s little thing with Philo, it’s only fair that Barry gets tawdry with a hot nurse for a bit. Turnabout being fair play and all.
It becomes clear that this if Andrea is going to be saved, she has to save herself. The fem goddess takes control and leads the men around to do her successful and noble bidding. She’s a dominatrix of decency – still sexy as hell.
This is a fun flick. It’s not scary, but it’s not supposed to be. It still has great energy and pace. The cast is fantastic and the story is an interesting one. The conclusion is somewhat nonsensical but within the context and levity of the film, it works.
Currently this is free via SHOUT! FACTORY’S channel on AMAZON PRIME.
Scared Stiff Rating: 6.5/10
