By Geno McGahee
Holiday movies don’t always make sense. If they did, I wouldn’t have much to write about, would I? I enjoy the films that are so absurd that it gives me all the material in the world to talk about. This is the case with THE ROOFTOP CHRISTMAS TREE, a made for TV film with a very strange story and a love story without any chemistry.
Sarah Wright (Michelle Morgan), a lawyer from the big city, has returned home to the small town home with her parents. She is coming off a bad relationship and is not looking for love, but this is a holiday movie and it would be a sad one without some love connection.
Dale Landis (Tim Reid) lives across the street from the Wrights and gets his ass thrown in jail every Christmas because he puts a Christmas tree on top of his house and it’s against town code. He refuses to remove it, goes to court, and gets locked up. When he puts it up, the crowd gathers and enjoys the spectacle, but they may just be happy because his dumb ass is being locked up again. “I wonder what candy cane he’ll be sucking on in there,” I can imagine one of the neighbors saying.
In town, Sarah meets the town prosecutor, John Keaton (Stephen Huszar), and they don’t get along well, initially that is. Soon, the two become opponents in court, with John trying to not only lock Dale up, but to fine him five grand every day the tree is not taken down. Sarah is fighting for Dale, but not officially as his lawyer. She’s merely an advisor, but Dale seems beyond advice.
When John and Sarah get personal in the courtroom, the judge, Sam Conner (Roger Dunn), pairs them up to fix the problem without sending Dale to the prison shower rooms. It doesn’t take long for Sarah to fall for John and vice versa and the duo plans to find a solution to the Dale issue. Unfortunately, the town goons tear down the tree from the rooftop before they could do anything. Like most code enforcers, they were complete dickheads.
John and Sarah team up with the townies and get a spectacular new tree and put it on the roof. It is way better than the last tree and is far better lit. The neighbors come out to view the spectacle again. They find a Xmas tree on a rooftop that interesting. I might go out to check it out the first year it happens, on the first day, but these people come out every time it’s put up and are really enamored with it. I began to think that Dale does it with hopes of getting with one of the local hotties that find his piney wood the cat’s pajamas, but that turned out to be untrue.
(SPOILERS COMING SOON IF YOU CARE AT ALL)
After this glorious tree is put up, they knock on the door to get Dale up. He took a while to come to the door. I’m guessing he was tied up with PornTube. Hell, the poor guy doesn’t have a woman. All he has is a Xmas tree. He needs something to make life worth living.
When Dale sees the new tree, he’s disappointed, but still thanks John and Sarah. I began to think that the original tree must have some importance and we would learn this soon. When we learn that the original tree had no sentimental value, I began to think that Dale belongs in prison…fucking ungrateful prick. Sarah and John worked so hard to make this happen and to stop the 5k fine that was going to be shoved up his ass on the daily and this is how he repays them? I would have taken that tree down and screamed “Here’s your tree Dale!” Then that tree would be shoved right up his chimney.
A man in uniform shows up and sees the tree on the top of the house. Sarah and John approach and the man said that he is only admiring the tree, but Dale comes out and recognizes him as his son. This was the plan the entire time. When Dale’s son was taken away, he told his son “look for the tree” so that he could find him in the future. This is when this whole fucking movie lost it for me. I have some questions…
OK, if the wife was taking the son away, why didn’t Dale get off his ass and file for joint custody? Why didn’t he get visitation? Why was the tree the first idea he came up with? Why not say “I’m in the phonebook. Look for the phonebook”? Why was Dale so upset when his first tree was taken down and a new tree was put up when that first tree didn’t mean shit?
THE ROOFTOP CHRISTMAS TREE is a mess. John and Sarah have no chemistry even though they kiss every five minutes. The film is just very shallow and builds to this one point about the tree that makes absolutely no sense at all. I held on to the end to find out what the fucking point was with the tree and it made no sense. For the record, Dale was living in the same house that he lived in when his wife took away their son. So, he’s not hard to find. He doesn’t need a Christmas tree to act as some beacon for his son. His son could even Google his dad’s name and get him. Hell, if Dale goes to PornTube as I suspect, he probably has a Facebook too. The options to find him are there and they are way better than some fucking tree on a house.
I can’t recommend this one people. It’s terrible shit.