By Melissa Antoinette Garza
It came! THE MUMBO JUMBO (2000) unreleased to US audiences came in the mail today and plays marvelously in my PS4! Nothing is better than receiving something in the mail with Richard O’Brien’s face on the cover. YUMMY!
The movie opens with Thomas Doubting (Jamie Walters) obtaining an amulet from a homeless guy. The amulet is magic and takes him to the fantastical land of Sinmouth. The residents of Sinmouth claim that Thomas is actually Mumbo Jumbo. Mayor Smith (Joss Ackland) relays the lore. It began 400 years ago and states that Mumbo Jumbowill show up to rescue Princess Vanilla (Melinda Messenger) and bring back the greatness and riches that Sinmouth once had, but went missing.
All around bad guy Lucifer Bounder (Brian Blessed) takes great interest in Thomas. He actually is holding Vanilla hostage and has imprisoned all the people and animals that vanished in Sinmouth. He also is trying to force Vanilla to marry him. He’s sort of like Barnaby in BABES IN TOYLAND (1961). The town ignores their misgivings about him because everyone is on the take, embezzling and paying Lucifer off.
Archie (Richard O’Brien), the most significant character in this production, is Lucifer’s right-hand man. He admittedly has some unusual tastes, but don’t you dare judge him! For example, one thing he does is flush things down the toilet. On the plus, he went to therapy for it and claims that he’s been clean for six months. I believe him! Why don’t you believe him? He’s seems genuine. Leave the poor guy alone. Why must everyone pick on Archie!?! He’s such a diligent worker and such a kind guy.
Archie is also the one put in charge of feeding and caring for Vanilla. He’s actually very polite to her and answers an abundance of ridiculous questions about Thomas who she is convinced will rescue her. That girl has no taste! Forget Thomas!! Take Archie, shave his face, get a dermatologist to remove those warts and low-and-behold the sexiest man in the universe is standing before you! Put the work in girl, it’s worth it. Plus, he has access to The Black Plague so no one is gonna fuck with you! Also, he’s charming and sweet! He brought food to Vanilla when she was kidnapped, only keeping the pelvic bone for himself. Now, that’s love!
He’s such a sweet pure soul that he delivers a letter from Vanilla to Thomas. She claims the letter is just about a wig, and pure-of-heart (admittedly, probably homicidal) Archie compliments her. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I want Vanilla and Archie to team up and take down Lucifer. Thomas is inconsequential to me. I mean, he’s nice. He’s just not “Oh my God, that’s Richard O-Fucking-Brien” nice.
Meanwhile, Thomas is out scoping for Vanilla as she imagines him to be. He is also concerned about everything else that went missing. He questions some of the townspeople who seem scared to say anything other than to confirm that everything just disappeared.
Soon, Thomas becomes convinced he is the Mumbo Jumbo as well and finds out he has a stronger connection to the homeless guy that gave him the amulet than he thought.
In the end, Lucifer forces Archie to fight Thomas. Lucifer might get away with this shit, but Fico would have knifed Prince Vultan if he attempted that nonsense. Archie, however, isn’t a fighter. He needs someone to watch out for him. Stupid, Lucifer keeps threatening to send him back to the clinic. Vanilla has him running around doing errands that are going to get him in trouble. Thomas knees him in a very inappropriate location. Forget the princess! Who rescues Archie? You tell me that Mumbo Jumbo!
Overall this was a fun productions with a lot of cool songs. It sort of reminded me of MOTHER GOOSE’S ROCK N RHYME, a TV special that ran in the states in 1990. It has the same kind of fantastical crazy story with fun music and a lot of recognizable faces.
The cast did sensational. Melinda Messenger and Jamie Walters both held their own in the leads and created some memorable and funny moments. Brian Blessed was hilarious as the evil Lucifer. It’s always awesome to see Joss Ackland. Every time I see him, marvelous thoughts of his work with THE PETSHOP BOYS comes to mind.
And then there’s Richard O’Brien. Of course, he’s wonderful in this. He’s campy and crazy, yet still brings sympathy and depth to Archie. I genuinely feel badly for him when he’s being abused and used by Lucifer. He’s not a bad guy. He’s just hanging with a bad guy because he’s crazy and has probably been ostracized by a lot of people. He’s a misfit, but a goodhearted misfit.
Currently, the only place I can find this is via EBAY on what I presume is a bootleg copy.
Scared Stiff Rating: 7/10
Richard O’Brien Rating: 11/10 (the math checks out)
