By James
James Woods…how can you beat that. He has a great name and whenever I see him, he says “Hi James, I’m James” and I say “Hi James, I’m James.” We laugh and laugh for hours. So you can imagine my dismay when I got the call from a good friend, who was sobbing, that James Woods had died. What sort of soy boy, EBT warrior, scumbag, cellar dweller nonsense is this? I called him up and thankfully, he was OK. Ain’t nothing wrong with the boy. You won’t believe how steaming mad he was when he heard about this death hoax. First, he gets kicked off Twitter and now this? I don’t blame him for being so mad.
“I’m all for freedom of speech, but I’m also for the freedom to shove my foot up the ass of the soy boy, cellar dweller scumbag that types up this nonsense with one hand and holds his EBT card with another. I have a few suspects here. One is that old shithead Bernie Sanders. Hey Bernie, tell your wife to stop stealing money and get a life! The other suspect is that fucking vampire from that movie I did years back. I swear he was a vampire in real life and fucking knew karate too. Karate vampire is bat shit crazy and I’m not messing with that, but if it wasn’t him and it was Bernie or another one of these socialist pigs, then I will sue and then I will tweet about it. Oh fuck. I forgot. They booted me. See what happens when you don’t suck Bernie’s dick?”
Top Suspect: Vampire from VAMPIRES
