By Geno McGahee
Like most genre films, holiday films have a proven formula…proven by Hallmark and Lifetime at least. You get a woman that is highly successful in business, doesn’t think much of Christmas, has an asshole boyfriend, and meets a new guy that changes her world and the old boyfriend is left with his dick in his hand. We get that in THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR, but I think the ex-boyfriend with his dick in his hand may disagree with such a title.
Jennifer (Brooke Burns) is highly successful in the business world and is dating a total douche, Richard (Woody Jeffreys). She has a young son, Brian (Connor Levins), and he has the Christmas spirit, like most kids do, but that’s not shared by Jennifer. She’s really stressing out over meeting her hubby’s family. They’re rich uptight cocks and she isn’t ready to deal with that. That’s another thing in holiday movies. If the character is wealthy, they are a complete dick face.
Jennifer’s uncle, Ralph (Henry Winkler), is a retired cop that has a great deal of love for his niece and her son. He is even overcoming his fear of flying to go and visit them, leading to a meeting with a young guy, Morgan (Warren Christie). It’s strange how quickly Ralph falls for Morgan. After knowing him five minutes, he decides that he’s the right guy for his niece. Maybe he liked Morgan that much. Maybe he hated Richard that much. Maybe he had a man crush. Maybe all three.
When Jennifer comes to pick up her uncle, she gets a surprise. Ralph insists that Morgan stays the night and Jennifer agrees, when she finds out that he can cook. She needs a cook so she can impress Richard’s parents and Morgan may be able to fill that void.
Ralph has a foot fetish. He constantly talks about Richard’s shoes. I’ve heard of people having sex with shoes. I think that’s a foot fetish. I wonder if having sex with a good shoe versus a cheap shoe makes a difference. If you have a foot fetish and have sex with shoes, please click on the contact scared stiff icon and let us know. We want to know what shoes are the best to have sex with. I’m asking for a friend.
Morgan proves useful around the home and sparks begin to fly until cock-blocking Richard shows up. Ralph is a total dick to him too. Now, I’ve had many dickbags come through my family, but if they brought Rich home, I’d tell them to jump on his cock and ride him off into the sunset. The guy brings Brian a 500 dollar gift card to the toy store and he has to hear the Fonz take jabs at him? I’m a supporter of the police but there are dick cops and I think that Ralph must have been one.
With Richard around, there is an emphasis to get Morgan out of the house, but the Fonz keeps on interfering. He goes as far as to steal Morgan’s passport. Jennifer has enough and tries taking Morgan to the airport, but they have to stop to pick up Brian’s gift first. They stop at a toy store to pick up the bike he wants, but the fat fuck that runs it, closes and won’t open it back up for Jennifer to buy it. Morgan challenges the fat guy to fight and if he wins, he gives them the bike and the guy agrees. I felt bad for the fat guy. When they got back to the alley to throw down, he bowed to Morgan and got hit in the face with a trash can. Jennifer cracked up laughing. Oh how funny it is to watch a fat fuck get murdered in an alley. Now I know. Jennifer has an issue with overweight people and wants them all exterminated. This is the character we are supposed to support here?
As every holiday film goes, Richard gets the boot and Morgan gets the spot, and everyone is happy, except for Richard. I know Richard was pissed. He is probably in a new movie called “I’M JERKING OFF THIS CHRISTMAS”. I wouldn’t watch that unless it had a really good plot.
THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF YEAR is a pretty good movie, even if it follows the formula. It had its moments of humor and the film was cast fairly well. It is also a great Christmas dating movie where you come out feeling great. Truth be told I was perusing a free dating site as as I watched it this Christmas. I recommend it, unless you were ditched on the holidays like Richard was. You’ll want to kick yourself in the balls if that’s the case.
