By Geno McGahee
I am a fan of anthologies. You have a better chance to get something enjoyable out of it then you would a full length movie featuring just one tale. In the microbudget horror world, anthologies may be a good idea because even the bad filmmaker will find dumb luck in one of the tales and people will dig the movie because of it. In a 50 pack called “TOMB OF TERRORS,” I found a movie called “THE LUNAR PACK,” an anthology from filmmaker Jason Liquori.
We begin with Mistress Misty (Debbie Rochon) in her castle…well, it’s a horrible green screen deal with the cartoonish castle placed in the background, but this is no budget, so you have to accept that, and I did. Misty is sort of a knockoff of Elvira, and leads us into each tale. She has a couple of kids, one of which she claims is the child of the Creature from the Black Lagoon. The other is some mutated thing that drinks blood. Overall, I wasn’t too annoyed with Misty. Usually this sort of character would irritate me, but Rochon wasn’t that bad in the role, although the dialogue she had to work with was very painful.
We lead into the first story called “DARK ROSE: THE 700 YEAR ITCH,” with a war between a vampire and a she-werewolf. It’s very short, but I was very amused by the fight between the two female beasts. The editing was very poor with the music a bit too high and the volume dropping quickly when the two are making noises during the fight. Despite that and a few other problems, the first tale was fun and silly, and the special effects weren’t all that bad all things considered.
The next tale called “SHEEP’S CLOTHING,” features a private eye following a girl, hired by her husband who suspects infidelity. It’s shot in black and white for some reason…and the intro where the private eye gets ready, drinking, putting on clothing, turning off the TV…all that, lasted way too long. After that, it moves along at a snail’s pace until the end, which was very amusing. We have another werewolf! We have some ridiculous special effects, but jeez, I loved it. I was really amused at how they made her turn into the werewolf and the black and white may have been put in there to hide some of the major problems they had with the special effects. Yeah, the werewolf looked pretty bad, but it was still amusing and entertainment is what film is about…right?
In the third tale called “CRYING WOLF,” another werewolf story, we have a young couple on the side of the road, arguing. When they exit the vehicle, a werewolf attacks them and kills the girl, and horribly wounding the guy. The guy meets up with a police officer and it turns into a werewolf vs. werewolf brawl. It’s silly and the werewolf costumes are bad, but it’s a rather fun scene and worth a watch. I like to watch guys in Halloween costumes going to war.
THE LUNAR PACK is not shot well, not written well, and the acting isn’t good, but it was good for what it was and watchable, which most movies of this level are not. I sort of recommend it….sort of.
Scared Stiff Rating: 3/10. Micro budget amusement.
