By Melissa Antoinette Garza
DAMN! I love this movie. I went on $5.00 Tuesdays and caught THE INTRUDER (2019) which I knew very little about. I knew Dennis Quaid was in it and that was enough. He can get in my Innerspace any day of the week. That’s a joke about a movie that probably none of you have seen but I love. It’s my review though, so deal with it.
My sis and I caught dinner, got tipsy and opted to see this flick in a pretty packed theater. I realized quickly that the group of peeps in the cinema and I were on very different sides during the film. Every time they gasped, I laughed. Every time they cheered, I yelled “NO!!!” Hey, different kicks!
It opens with sexy fem goddess Annie (Meagan Good) and her very successful husband Scott (Michael Ealy) deciding to buy a house in Napa Valley. I love Annie. I don’t like Scott. He sucks. Fuck Scott.
They go to the house which is selling for 3.5 million dollars. There, they meet the owner. The first encounter is unique as Charlie (Dennis Quaid) shoots a deer. I hate animals getting hurt, but Charlie means well. The deer ruin his property and Charlie LOVES his property. Still, he tells Annie and Scott that he’s planning on moving to Florida to be with his daughter – so there’s no problem. What could go wrong?
Poor Charlie lost his wife a few years ago. Details are unimportant (or I just don’t want to reveal them to you because it may make you hate Charlie). The point is the guy is mourning! I love him so.
The house is a bit pricey for Scott, but Charlie being a sensational dude despite having MULTIPLE offers gives them 200K off, out of the kindness of his heart…and maybe the bulge in his pants for Annie.
Annie and Scott buy the house and are getting settled when Charlie starts stopping by. It seems that his move to Florida has been a bit delayed. Splendid news, right?!
So, good ol’ Charlie makes himself useful and mows their lawn. Scott feels a bit uncomfortable about it, but Annie digs it. She feels bad for him and even invites him to Thanksgiving.
The issue is that Annie and Scott are friends with a jerkoff named Mike (Joseph Sikora). Mike is a dick who comes to the holiday meal too. He smokes on the property and puts his cigarettes out wherever he wants. He pisses outside instead of in the 4 bathrooms in the home. Charlie doesn’t like Mike either, so during dinner Charlie has a fantasy where he bashes Mike over the head with a bottle of wine. I give him kudos for holding back so long. I had that fantasy from moment one when Mike came on screen. Fuck Mike. Fuck Mike and Fuck Scott! Go get em’ Charlie!
Mike thinks that Charlie is a bit off and relays his concerns. At first, Scott doesn’t buy it but soon he notices Charlie isn’t leaving. He shows up all the time and gets angry when Scott is putting holes in his house for security lights. Charlie just wants them to be nice to the land he worked so hard for.
He even shows up when Mike’s at work and helps Annie put up Christmas lights. Did Mike do that? Noooooo! Mike was playing kiss-face with some hottie client at a bar! Fuck Mike.
Charlie may be a little off, a little older, a little crazy and even a little rape-y at times, but …..where was I going with this? Oh yeah – I love Charlie!
Charlie starts playing wicked nice with Annie! When she invites him in for wine, he checks out her ass. If that wasn’t a cue that he had a crush, he then hides in her house and watches her shower when she doesn’t know. He’s super romantic like that! It’s the little things that I appreciate.
For some reason, Annie doesn’t have the same feelings for Charlie. I don’t get it. It might have something to do with Charlie running his truck into Scott and nearly killing him. I don’t know, but for whatever reason she doesn’t fall into his arms and admittedly, he doesn’t take the spurned affection well.
He really wanted his house back and a new wife. He chose Annie. He gave her the house she wanted and even took 200K off it. Surely that’s worth a little action? Nope. He ends up hitting her on the head and putting her on the bed to get frisky. She’s passed out and this is where my sister switched sides. She no longer was pro-Charlie.
I, on the other hand, forgave him. Forgiveness is a virtue and one that I practice regularly. Haha! Now, you fuckers don’t know what to do! Don’t worry. I’m joking. I don’t practice forgiveness all that much at all. I just love Dennis Quaid and realize this is just a movie and no real Annies were hurt during the making of the film – so I can safely root for the bad guy and feel guilt-free. Try it sometime. It’s a kick!
In the end, Scott and Annie have a showdown with Charlie – winner gets the house.
This was a fun movie! I enjoyed it immensely. I love this shit though. It’s sort of like UNLAWFUL ENTRY (1992) and (shocker) I was on Ray Liotta’s side in that classic! I just love my bad boys. I can’t help it.
I highly suggest going to see this. Even the theater crowd was fun as fuck. There was some really old dude shouting, “He’s gonna die now! He’s gonna fucking die now!” and that cracked me up. The moviegoers were definitely Team Scott and every time Charlie did something bad I was the only one laughing hysterically while everyone else got super tense. Charlie just cracked me up. When he confronts Mike, it’s hilarious.
The cast is great. Despite me hating blah-blah boring Scott, Ealy did a fabulous job. He portrayed Scott as geek chic, but I don’t like geek chic. I like crazy motherfuckers.
Meagan Good was amazing as Annie. I enjoyed the way in which she showed Annie’s nurturing side take predominance over her intuition. There was a real play on masculinity vs femininity in this movie and it worked marvelously. Scott’s antenna went up sooner about Charlie because he wasn’t as empathetic with Charlie’s plight. The nurturing fem within Annie made her look beyond Charlie’s odd behavior because she thought he was going thru a rough time and wanted to help. I love that dynamic because it stirs conflict where Scott looks irrational when in reality, he knows what’s going on. That doesn’t mean I like Scott, though. Once again, Fuck Scott!
And, then there’s RAWR RAWR Dennis Quaid. He was outstanding. There’s nothing he can’t do. He can play suave, sexy, funny, sweet, dark, mean and crazy and here he did it all. I won’t go as far to say that Charlie is a sympathetic character. He’s genuinely an evil dude, but he is still sexy AF – and he and Annie could have been so happy together if she would just let them be!
On a side note, after the flick I stopped and talked to a few of the peeps in the theater who hated Charlie. I tried to convince them that he was the better man since he helped with Christmas lights. I don’t think my argument won them over. They left pretty fast.
Scared Stiff Rating: 7.5/10 WOOT WOOT – Sexy Quaid Rules!
