By Melissa Antoinette Garza
Some horror movies will add a fair amount of comedy within their film which can either be an asset or a complete disaster. In The Channeler, the unfunny, awful jokes was only one of many faults with the overall production.
Like many movies within the genre that aggravate me the most, this had promise but through it away. The setting and atmosphere were perfect. The characters though stereotypical weren’t (with the exception of the oversexed blonde) the worst in the world. The dialogue was mostly tedious, but there were a few really good shots and even some sequences which gave me hope regarding the villains and outcome.
The movie begins when Pam (Robin Sims) gets her friends together to go on vacation through a small town filled with drunk hillbillies. The group’s motivation is to go through the woods and restore the area’s beauty. Pam, however knows that the mine within the forest has a violent history and though she doesn’t share it with anyone including her boyfriend, she is there to research the possible ghostly and demonic occurrences due to its past.
The group starts off at a bar where the majority of the idiots are. Though the bartender is interesting and comes into play later, the rest of this scene is worthless. Pam’s boyfriend gets into a fight with a large brawler who thinks his girlfriend was being hit on. Stupid jokes and dumb innuendos start here and get worse as times goes on.
Nonetheless, the friends take off and retreat to the woods to complete their mission.
Quickly, the best actor and most interesting character Scott (David Homb) ends up possessed. Though it starts off slowly. At first, he has a nightmare that he can’t quite remember. Then, he has a vision of a miner and then nightmares that his friends are in danger.
In a nearby cabin they run into a gent by the name of Arnie (Dan Haggerty) who is the brother of the bartender they ran into earlier. He discusses the history of the location with everyone thus ruining Pam’s ruse and making all of her friends pretty pissed off. Though, they get over it quickly. In one of the most cringe-worthy jokes Ms. Skank-A lot Tina (Cindy Brooks) asks where she can sleep and is told downstairs by Arnie and she says, “…..great, I get to sleep with Grizzly Adams.”
I usually defend winks at the camera. In Friday the 13th Part VI, I always speak up when Geno disparages the old drunk
gravedigger who says, “some people have a strange sense of humor,” while looking at the camera. I even found it to be an homage when Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011) had characters quote the original film. It irritated the hell out of Steve, but I enjoyed it. This was just too much. At the same time as I cringed, I saw both Geno and Steve’s eyes wince as if they were embarrassed for the actress. There’s being cheeky and playful and then outright being stupid. This crossed the line.
There are so many flaws with this movie. The plot was both overcomplicated and unexplained where it should have been simple and simplified where it demanded more attention. The history of the miners for example was boring and amounted to little. Other than the “curse” it really didn’t detail much of the reasoning and paranormal abilities. As Scott becomes possessed, Arnie takes a blood sample and into a tape-recorder spouts some ridiculously unscientific nonsense. It was just dumb. I understand that parapsychology doesn’t follow the scientific laws as it is, but this was basically Arnie looking at bubbles in blood and saying something a long the lines of there being evil action within it. I don’t know the exact quote but that’s because it was too stupid to remember.
So there are multiple demonic entities within the town. We have the one that is possessing Scott and sounds very similar to the demon in Killer Party but then there are these orange skeletons in black robes that can be set on fire and have a horrible grip when it comes to trying to kidnap women.
To put it plainly, the plot is confused. Overall, there were two really cool shots. The first that comes to mind is when the audience is under the impression that there is only one entity and then multiple demons in a cult-ish wardrobe attack. The second is when one of the guys is trying to get away in his car and a demon jumps on top of back. It isn’t as cool as the scene in Jeepers Creepers where the Creeper is on the car in the background, but it’s still pretty damn neat.
Sadly, I can’t recommend this one. Thankfully, in the last couple days, I’ve seen a few really cool horror flicks so watching a bad one doesn’t hurt nearly as much as it usually does. Still, this movie seemed to have everything in its favor but used nothing. Even Haggerty was no stranger to horror and could have been given more to do. One year prior, he was in the cult-classic Elves (1989) which was a far superior horror flick.
Hell, there is even a better horror movie based on a cursed mine with a demon terrorizing a group of idiots. Miner’s Massacre aka Curse of the Forty-Niner (2002) is not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination, but that is still a much better movie than this. It’s plot makes more sense, it’s characters are more likeable and the conclusion to Miner’s Massacre is so much more bad-ass than The Channeler.
Hopefully, I’ll have some better suggestions by the end of the month! With Halloween one week away, it’d be nice to see something I haven’t seen before to tell you all about. Fingers crossed!
Scared Stiff Rating: 3/10
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