By Geno McGahee
I have seen most of the films of Sylvester Stallone but I had never seen TANGO & CASH. When I saw that it came out in 1989, I was pretty sure that I was in for a bad film. Stallone was coming off of OVER THE TOP and would be followed by ROCKY V, OSCAR and STOP OR MY MOM WILL SHOOT. So, I thought it was safe to say that this film may be a rough one. The ray of hope was Kurt Russell. He’s usually good and wasn’t that far away from BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA. So, I put down my seven dollars to buy it on Amazon Prime and was actually in for a treat as it turned out.
The two finest cops on the force, Tango (Stallone) and Cash (Russell), are in a competition as to who the number one officer is. We start with a great chase scene with Tango going after a gas tanker truck driven by Face, played by MANIAC COP, Robert Z’Dar. This film is packed with actors that have complimented many action films.
Tango stops the tanker and saves the day and we get some very funny dialogue. One of the cops on the scene starts tearing into Tango and notes that “he thinks he’s Rambo.” Tango replies with “Rambo is a pussy.” It was really funny and the writing in this film is witty and fits the characters really well. Randy Feldman wrote the film and I was surprised to see that he hasn’t done a lot outside of this and the Eddie Murphy film METRO. He did a good job here.
Cash is attacked in his apartment by an assassin, but he is wearing a bulletproof vest and chases down the bad guy and brings him into custody, but he’s a renegade cop. He won’t stop there. He catches up with him and chokes him out until he gets the information he needs to track down the person that hired the assassin. He gets the address of a big deal going down and so does Tango.
It’s all a setup by drug lord, Perret (Jack Palance), leading to the arrest of Tango and Cash for the murder of an undercover agent. They take a plea deal and were supposed to be sent to a minimum security prison, but the system is corrupt and they are secretly brought to a maximum security prison with all of the people that they put behind bars. I watch a lot of those prison shows and I’ve never seen a prison like this one. Everything was on fire as they walked to their cells. Prisons on reality TV shows have clean cells with everything well-organized and an occasional prison rape.
Stallone felt the need to show his muscular ass again. He even convinced Russell to join in. I know that Stallone does a million squat thrusts a day and is damn proud of his ass, and rightfully so, but I’ve seen enough of it. I watched this film on my 200 inch screen too and that ponderosa (prison term) was so large, it was disturbing. I’m all for nudity in films but they didn’t do enough to even it out here. Teri Hatcher was in this and she did not show anything, but I was afraid to ask for it. If Stallone heard me, he’d probably expose his backside again.
Prison life is a terrible thing for the former cops and it gets worse when Perret sets them up to be killed. Tango and Cash are brought to a large area and beaten badly by a group of prisoners, including Face. As they are about to get killed, the prison guards come in and save them, but it’s clear that they are marked men. They plan their escape and it leads to a great fight between Tango and Face. (Spoiler) Seeing Z’Dar getting electrocuted was awesome, especially how he screams “Tango” as he dies. I love Z’Dar. He has always been awesome and maybe they could link this to the MANIAC COP series somehow. I’d like to think it happened in the same universe.
The duo is now determined to prove their innocence by confronting the crooked cops that sent them away. Cash meets Kiki (Hatcher), Tango’s sister, dancing at a club, but the cops have closed in. They have to plan an escape, but with the place completely covered, they have to be creative and that leads to Kurt Russell in drag and it was hilarious. One of the cops asks for a threesome with Kiki and Cash in drag. I’d be up for that as long as I’m not sore in the morning.
Tango is not happy with the budding romance between Cash and his sister, but there are bigger fish to fry. They need to take down Perret and his army of bad guys, leading to a great and explosive climax to this film.
TANGO & CASH is a really good action film and could have had a sequel, but it didn’t make a lot of money. Russell and Stallone worked well together, mixing humor and huge action sequences and a great pace. I often say Stallone makes pure shit outside of the ROCKY films and FIRST BLOOD, but I’m starting to change that opinion as I watch some of the movies that I’ve never seen like this one and CLIFFHANGER. I highly recommend TANGO & CASH. It’s great fun.
