By James Witherspoon
Yo, check this out. This cat, Gambino, is setting the internet on fire, with a video where the fur ball said “well, hi” in a southern accent. Really? Really? The last time I saw a talking pussy was when I hit the novelty section of the porn shop. YA HEARD!
I don’t know shit about cats. I know less about cats then a cellar-dwelling soy boy knows about working a job. So, I caught up with my boy, a feline expert, Antonio Banderas, the man behind Puss in Boots. He had the following to say:
“James, firstly, you are the best writer of all time. I’ve watched that video with Gambino and I have to say one thing. That pussy is a redneck! That video sucks. It’s worse than any SPY KIDS movie that I was in. More people are watching that fucking video than watching SHREK THE THIRD. I knew that was one too many SHREK movies. You can only take so much Michael Myers, even if he’s just the voice of that green fat ass. It could be worse. It could have been Dana Carvey. Yeah, there’s a talented guy. NOT! I’d like to shove my Puss in Boot up his ass. So, James, please let your billions upon billions of readers know that I’m plugging a new movie: TWO SHREKS ONE CUP.”
You got it my brother from another mother.
(Note: Comments may not be those of Antonio Banderas)
