By Melissa Antoinette Garza
Some chicks are psycho bitches! I’m not talking my kind of crazy. Sure, I’m nuts. I’ll snap my jaw at strangers who piss me off, spin shopping carts around with my tits and maybe Imma go a little redhead when the occasion warrants it, but I’m not a psycho bitch. Diane Downs, on the other hand, is a complete psycho bitch!
SMALL SACRIFICES (1989) is a TV miniseries based on a true story. Unlike most films that claim to be based in reality, this one follows the actual account very closely. The result is a chilling tale about a horrible mother who attempts to kill all three of her children so she can continue to fuck a married coworker who doesn’t want kids.
The film opens with Diane (Farrah Fawcett) driving to the emergency room with her three kids in the car. She’s been shot in the arm, one of her children was shot dead and the other two are barely alive. Diane’s story immediately raises eyebrows.
She claims to have been driving down a dark country road when she spotted a guy on the side. She stops to see what he needs when he demands the car. He then supposedly shot the children point blank and her in the arm.
The police immediately think the story is off. Why would a mother with her kids stop on a lonely road in the middle of the night? Why would she even have her kids with her at that time? It was late and they had no real plans. What the fuck was going on?
Well, I’ll tell you what’s going on. Don’t rush me!
Lew (Ryan O’Neal) works at the post office with Diane. He’s married but the two begin having an affair. She wants him to leave his wife for her, but he doesn’t want to.
She pushes things and gets a tat of his name, but he still is not interested. He had a vasectomy years ago as he never wanted children.
Cards on the table, the real Lew was not a terrible guy. That said, I hate Ryan O’Neal. The man disgusts me. He’s the living embodiment of nails on a chalkboard. I love his daughter Tatum and I absolutely adored Farrah, but O’Neal is trash. He’s not even a good enough actor to get away with being trash. What the fuck 1980s? Why’d you put up with all his bullshit? You should’ve saved Tatum and booted O’Neal as far outside of Hollywood as your boots could’ve kicked his ugly ass.
My distaste for O’Neal carries over to this flick. Even though Lew had nothing to do with the kids getting hurt or Diane’s insanity, I find myself hating him. When he’s being interviewed by the cops, I said to myself, “Find anything and throw him in the pen. The dude fucking sucks!” I stand by that. He sucks soooo hard! I feel badly for the real Lew. They should have had Don Johnson portray him. I would have cheered for Johnson. He can put me in a Miami Vice any day of the week. RAWR RAWR 1980s Don Johnson. Imma love you and your cool white overcoats!
After disqualifying Lew and the children’s father Boyd (Garry Chalk) as suspects, the prosecutor Frank Joziak (John Shea) turns his full attention to Diane.
The bitch has nerves of steel though. She thinks she is going to get away with it. She plays the victim, throws wild accusations around against everyone, blames authorities for not finding the real killer and terrorizes her near catatonic daughter. I hate this woman.
Now, to be clear – I adore Farrah Fawcett. In THE BURNING BED (1984) I wanted to hand her gasoline. In EXTREMETIES (1986), I wanted to sharpen her knife. Fawcett was a Fem Goddess delight and I miss her so much. It is a testimony to her acting skills, that I despised her so thoroughly in this flick. She was no longer the sexy vampy Charlie’s Angel that I wanted to see naked. She was a psycho bitch that I wanted to see in the electric chair.
Diane’s behavior is so outlandish that instead of convincing people she’s innocent, everyone sees her for the guilty, sociopathic liar she is.
During her trial, they play Hungry like the Wolf by Duran Duran. It’s a great fucking song. I love it, but it’s the tune that was playing while her children were shot. This crazy fuckwit bobs her head and lip syncs while it’s playing in court.
After watching this flick, there are a few documentaries about Diane Downs that I suggest watching as well. They’re all free on YOUTUBE and easy to find by typing in her name. Don’t get me wrong. Fawcett nailed her persona and her insanity so well, but seeing the real deal is chilling. She’s just a horrible evil person that needs to be in prison for life.
SMALL SACRIFICES is free on YOUTUBE so watch that shit. It’s three hours long so you’re going to need a block of time, but it’s worth it.
Scared Stiff Rating: 7.5/10
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