By Melissa Antoinette Garza
PVP wrestling had their first show of the year, last Sunday at the Pulaski Club in Easthampton MA. As always, the event was a wild, crazy, insanely fun ride filled with mind-blowing athleticism, creative story-lines, charismatic characters and exciting matches that were worth far more than the price of admission. It was a sold out show that actually required additional seats to be brought in because of the amount of people who showed. I love seeing that!
The night opened with Big Bacon Brad Hollister, Sexy Jesus Hammer Tunis and PVP President Alex Cypher coming down to the ring to celebrate PVP’s big win over WMW (Western Mass Wrestling) in 2019. At that moment, Bacon and Sexy Jesus reigned as commissioners of both federations so all was right with the world.
Now, the audience in attendance were more about WMW and began the all too familiar derogatory name-calling against President Cypher. “Putz…putz…putz,” they chanted cowardly.
Thankfully, Big Bacon thinking on his feet, took that word back and gave it a new and positive definition – something far more fitting for someone of Cypher’s brilliance and prestige. I fucking love Alex Cypher. I always will. He cracks me up and I’m super psyched he was there!
It wasn’t too long before WMW’s Scotty Wild and Matthew James came storming out. Now, James has a big mouth! He’s upset about being screwed out of his company. He feels Bacon and Sexy Jesus messed him over – and maybe they did. Okay, they definitely did, but I’m a PVP bitch. I was one of the few cats booing troublemakers James and Wild. Carnage ensued as Bacon began an impromptu fight with Wild causing security to get involved.
Once the ring was cleared, the first match was The Don Chris Benne vs. Slade. I love the old school mobster gimmick Benne wears. He would be terrific as the lead in a a mafia family-esque stable. Until then, I think he’d be great having a female manager that played it up like a ride-and-die mob wife. Someone like Sensational Sherri meets Fallen Angel/Woman Nancy Benoit. A fem donned in gaudy jewelry and clothes, having a reality show attitude and getting involved in matches could be absolutely hilarious; as long as they didn’t go full on Vickie Guerrero with it.
The match itself was fantastic. Both men slugged it out. Their styles work very well off one another as both have the strong-man approach.
Also, Slade is far from bad on the eyes. That man is a sexy mofo! In the end, Slade took the win. It was an impressive opening bout where both men gave their all and looked magnificent doing it.
In the second match, Dan De Man fought against The Strategist JustNeph who was escorted by fan favorite Heck Dynamite. De Man came out and went to a few random women and offered them presents. I was won of the few “lucky” ones to be chosen. Sadly, there were no real gifts and only some advice to get back into the kitchen. I do make a mean Asian Orange Chicken though so I wasn’t too offended. I fucking love De Man. He makes me laugh. I knew what I was in for when he pointed at me and asked me if I wanted a gift, but hey – everyone is a mark sometimes, and Sunday was my day.
The one disappointing moment of the night was when some asshole in the crowd made a snide comment when Heck Dynamite was discussing a legit injury he suffered. The dude making an ass out of himself may have already been drunk, but still – that’s a dick move. That’s WWE audience bullshit right there. It was like when people were booing Roman Reigns after his cancer diagnosis. You just don’t do shit like that. Hating a gimmick or wanting to talk trash about a plot is one thing, but know where to draw the line. We need to remain conscious and caring individuals. I know nearly every single person, including that douche-bag who doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up, wishes Heck a speedy and full recovery. Dynamite is a bad-ass motherfucker who can rock & roll in the ring. He’s a King of indie wrestling and it’s great to see him there in any capacity. So peeps just need to give him the respect he deserves.
De Man vs. the Strategist saw both men brawling it out and in an awesome war that culminated in Dan trying to hit the Strategist with a chair. The move was reversed and The Strategist was the victor. This did not sit well with De Man. I felt bad for him. Had their been a kitchen there, I would have gone in it to make him happy.
The third match of the night was a tag team bout with villains Mike Law and Zachary Pierre Beaulieu taking on Dr. Reginald Heresy and Smart Mark Sterling. Though I love my bad boys, I was on the side of the doc and Smart Mark in this match. There’s two reasons for that. One, Dr. Reginald is just too nice a guy not to cheer for. He comes out dancing. I like that dude. The second reason is that Smart Mark was a bad guy until recently. I have his t-shirt. I love him. He was fighting in the women’s division and even held the title for awhile. He fought sexism by beating up women. It was hilarious. I love that story-line so much.
Now apparently, he’s a baby-face. That said, he has a super nice smile and wears it well. He’s one of those rare wrestlers who can be good or bad, and is equally great at both of them. His charisma and likability match his amazing in-ring abilities.
The battle was a fun one and Dr. Heresy and Smart Mark came out on top, so I was a happy gal!
Next was former MMA fighter Cold Steel Chuck O’Neil vs. Logan Black. This was a killer match all around. I love both guys. The men fought so hard that the rope collapsed. Did they stop going? Hell fucking no! They are professional bad-asses and rocked it out hard. This was a slug-fest where nothing was off-limits. Black won the match by DQ when O’Neil choked him with the broken ropes. Kudos to these men for keeping things going under insane pressure and making it look perfect the entire time.
After a brief intermission, we saw former women’s champion Davienne take on one-half of the American Murder Society Aaron Bradley in a mixed-gender match. Davienne is well-versed in these bouts facing former women’s champ Smart Mark Sterling a number of times. The fight was an entertaining one with a lot of action.
In Bradley’s corner was the money man that also manages current Women’s Champion Ariela Nyx. Davienne had originally wanted a match with Nyx, but she was unavailable so instead Bradley was brought out. In the end, money couldn’t help Bradley and Davienne walked out victorious.
The last match of the night was originally supposed to be Wrecking Ball Legursky vs. Dexter Loux. Cypher, Jesus and Bacon changed the match and declared it a triple-threat with The American Sumo Mike Gamble joining in the mix.
All hell broke loose in the main event and it was fucking spectacular. At one point, Wrecking Ball was out of the ring and Dex asked Sumo to lie down and take the loss. He considered it and looked as though he was about to, but Legursky wasn’t out just yet. The battle continued to rage on as Dexter and Sumo worked together to make certain Legursky wouldn’t win.
The dedication, strength and tenacity of these guys always amaze me. Their abilities and talent are the core components that bring people back again and again to every event. They just don’t stop and it’s such a rush to see these athletes give their all over and over and over again. It was a brilliant match and one very worthy of the oft heard wrestling chant “this is awesome.”
In the end, the efforts of the baddies paid off and Dex won – fair and square (more or less – may have had some help from his friends).
Now, this would have been a sensational ending to the show, but Matthew James, Logan Black and Scotty Wild (who is too damn wild if you ask me) – had to ruin it! They’re animals! I like Logan so much. I have his shirt too, but he didn’t have to turn on Cypher!
Alex Cypher, Big Bacon and Sexy Jesus were just celebrating with their pals Dex and Sumo. They deserve to be happy too! Then, these evil, diabolical, demented criminals if you ask me – James and Wild came rushing to the ring. Bacon, Dex, Sumo and (Thank God) Cypher got to safety, but poor Sexy Jesus was not as lucky. He was stuck in the ring with those animals. Now, Sexy Jesus is injured, but those WMW punks didn’t care! They held him hostage.
Bacon begged, “give us our sexy Jesus back,” but to deaf ears. These miscreants had demands! First, James wanted the Pulaski Club back for WMW events. Bacon agreed. Now, that should have been the end of it, but no. Still Wild and James threatened poor Jesus. How many times does one man need to be crucified?
James then wanted his promotion back thus voiding out the commissioner status Jesus and Bacon had with WMW. Again, the men agreed – but WMW’s blood-thirst didn’t end there!
Now, James wants PVP – the greedy bastard! He insisted that there be a 7 bout event where 6 of WMW’s best takes on 6 of PVP’s, winner take all. The 7th match however is a steel cage match between Matthew James and poor Alex Cypher. Why does Cypher get dragged into this? He’s never done anything to anyone! He’s an innocent businessman. How could James be so cruel?! Surely, these agreements were made under duress and can be undone. I don’t want to see Alex get hurt in a cage!
Sadly, the terms were agreed upon, but at least Sexy Jesus was allowed to leave in one piece.
Those WMW dudes are mean. I hope Cypher kicks Matthew’s ass.
On a serious note, this was an amazing night. Both the sis and I adored it. If you live in Western MA check out PVP and WMW. You’ll never see a better roster than what is offered in their promotions. Experts in the ring, brilliant on the mic, and charisma that won’t quit – these performers have it all.
