By Geno McGahee
“What the hell are you doing here? You’re dead.” – Reggie (Reggie Bannister)
In 1979, PHANTASM was unleashed and introduced a new horror character called “the Tall Man” to the fans of the genre. Unique and creepy, the Tall Man proved a terrifying site and became larger than life. Using a mixture of mystery and amazing visuals and style, PHANTASM became a hit and led to many follow ups. In 1988, the Tall Man returned in PHANTASM II, followed by the 1994 strange entry, PHANTASM III: LORD OF THE DEAD.
With most horror franchises, there is a dance between good and evil. Michael Myers had to continually contend with Dr. Loomis, Jason Voorhees had Tommy Jarvis, and Freddy Krueger had Nancy…for a couple of movies at least. The Tall Man (Angus Scrimm) had an interest in young Michael (A. Michael Baldwin) and has been hunting him for quite some time. Michael wants revenge on the Tall Man for killing his brother and so we have these two characters on a collision course. Both Baldwin and Scrimm are very good for this movie. The other characters that they bring in are rather terrible.
Reggie (Reggie Bannister), Michael’s uncle, finds himself alone after Michael is taken by the Tall Man. He now is led by Jody (Bill Thornbury) to recover him and save the day. This is a tough mission and when he enters an abandoned town, he meets up with some bad guys and one really hot chick. They throw Reggie into the trunk and steal his car, arriving at a big house that they plan to loot. They go inside and are attacked by Tim (Kevin Connors), a kid of maybe 12 years in age…maybe less, and the kid takes them all down with his contraptions. It’s like the deadly version of HOME ALONE, but the kid is very annoying. I immediately began to lose interest in the film. I’m not a fan of a badass kid in a film. But this gets worse.
Reggie and Tim are now teaming up. Unbelievably, Reggie gets jumped again by these two women and is tied up while the ball is flying around. One of the girls is taken out, Tim kills the ball, and the other girl, Rocky (Gloria Lynne Henry), joins the team, making for one annoying threesome as they forge on to fight the Tall Man.
I don’t blame Reggie Bannister totally for the problems with his character and the film. There are times in horror where comedy is welcome and popular. EVIL DEAD 2 is an example and that may be part of the inspiration for the hammy way that Bannister plays this role. Unfortunately, it does not work here. The Tall Man is not the sort of character that should have this nonsense in the same film. The great visuals and creepy vibe that was set in the first third of this film were thrown away with meaningless crap and unfunny banter. Did I mention that I didn’t like the Tim character at all?
Reggie rents a hotel room and convinces Tim to remain in the car so he can screw Rocky. He plays with her ear and then asks her if she ever tried vanilla. She responds “dairy gives me gas.” What a sexy scene this was. I think they were going for humor here (again) and it failed (again). It was meaningless and Reggie’s attempt to score again with her did nothing to push the story forward. I began thinking “where the fuck is the Tall Man?!”
Michael is recovered and now we have the four of these characters going into the lair of the Tall Man for one final showdown. Amazingly, the Tall Man uses the zombies of the three people that Tim killed to attack and here we go again. The forced humor keeps taking away from this film, and watching a 12-year-old or whatever he is, killing adults with his basic bare hands is not realistic. I’m giving this movie that a Tall Man exists, and so do his little ghouls and big flying balls, but I draw the line at tough children. No way. Not on my watch! Then, Rocky has numchucks and she is fighting the zombies with them. There may have been some DREAM WARRIORS influence here…then again, why am I blaming a good movie for what this is?
I desperately wanted to like this movie. I am a huge fan of The Tall Man and of the style of these movies. The atmosphere is dark and compelling. Unlike many of the other horror films that have spawned into franchises, this one has this immediate uneasiness that is dishes out to the viewer and they struck gold in 1979 with the original because of it and its unrelenting horror. Some of the same magic was here in PHANTASM III: LORD OF THE DEAD, but with terrible characters, forced unfunny humor and an unsatisfying climax, this movie falls short and becomes just another one of those sequels that didn’t really have a plan going into it. This film contributed nothing to the overall storyline of the series. It appears to only be a cash grab film.
Although a mediocrity, I still do recommend PHANTASM III: LORD OF THE DEAD, mainly because of the way it was shot and the great presence of Angus Scrimm as the Tall Man. I am a huge Tall Man fan, but he got dealt a bad hand here. To his credit, he played it the best that he could have.
Rating: 5/10
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