By Geno McGahee
In the 1980s, cross dressing to get an advantage movies were popular. TOOTSIE was a big hit and they had that shitty movie YENTL. One of the best ones that probably wasn’t much of a hit was “HE’S MY GIRL”. Why doesn’t that one get any love? I’ll have to review that one and maybe it’ll go viral.
JUST ONE OF THE GUYS was made on 5 million and made 11.5 million at the box office and is the 1980s film that you’d expect. The styles and the formula is a familiar one, featuring the jerk boyfriend and William Zabka-like bully that just so happens to be William Zabka in this one. It’s a mixed bag of 1980’s goodness with plenty to discuss.
Terry (Joyce Hyser) is a high school student that desperately wants to win the summer internship at the Sun Tribune. She is banking on her teacher, Mr. Raymaker (Kenneth Tigar) to select her and she can begin her career, but it doesn’t happen and she becomes convinced that she would have gotten it if she were a guy. She witnesses another teacher, George, talk to Raymaker and talk about the hot girls he teaches. This was the 1980s and the teachers were really like this. I swear my shop teacher focused in on my bulge from time to time. At least he gave me straight As.
Depressed, Terry comes home and talks to her boyfriend, Kevin (Leigh McCloskey), and he doesn’t take her writing very seriously. It adds to her frustration. The film really wanted to show off Hyser’s womanly body to show the contrast I guess. She starts off the film in bra and panties and then, in a couple of scenes, shows up in a bikini. This leads to her turning into a dude. So, I guess they did it to show contrast or the producers were just perverts.
Terry tries to get advice from her 15-year-old brother, Buddy (Billy Jayne), about how to be a man. Now, Billy Jayne is the biggest problem with this film and have you ever met somebody you liked named “Buddy?” He is constantly coming onto Terry’s best friend, Denise (Toni Hudson), and is obsessed with sex. He is one of the most annoying characters in film history and every time that he’s on the screen, the film sucks.
The plan is set. Terry stuffs her pants with a sock and signs up at a new school as a boy named “Terry.” She finds out that things are very different. At her old school, she was a hot and popular woman and in this one, she is a nerdy and very unpopular guy. Greg (William Zabka) starts her first day by launching her into the bushes and is the school bully. It’s mentioned later in the film that Terry “looks like the Karate Kid”, and she kind of does. So, I don’t blame Zabka for attacking her. The look rubbed salt in old wounds.
Terry meets Rick (Clayton Rohner), an outcast at the school, and they become friends. Even though Rick is a nerd, somewhat, he’s not like the typical nerds that this high school has to offer. Harold is a real nerd that brings reptiles to school all of the time and then there are the two guys that pretend to be aliens in Willy and Phil. They are over the top nerd and are so unrealistic. It’s like they watched REVENGE OF THE NERDS and multiplied those characters by five hundred to make these.
Being a guy isn’t easy because you get used jock straps thrown into your face in the locker room. Well, that happened to Terry. Now, in high school, I was not remotely popular, but I never had a jock strap launched in my face. I guess I should feel better then. Maybe I was more popular than I thought. Then again, nope. I’m not going to kid myself.
Man ass. Lots and lots of man ass. Why so much man ass? I understand it’s a locker room but damn, they loaded the scene with man ass. Maybe it fits into the story somehow. Maybe it’s a subconscious thing that I’m not bright enough to detect. Maybe I would have understood if they spread the man ass out a little. I don’t usually use the term “spread the man ass.” It may be the first time I’ve used it.
The coach notes that he does “jock inspections three times a week.” WHAT?! In what way does he inspect the jocks? Is he making sure that they are wearing them? Is he inspecting for cleanliness? I would not be comfortable if my coach wanted to look at my jock 3 times a week. He was probably a deviant. A lot of male gym teachers turned out to be perverts.
Sandy (Sherilyn Fenn) falls for Terry and wants to make it with him/her, but pulls a sock out of his pants. Remarkably, that doesn’t end it right there. Part of the reason I don’t stuff my pants with a sock is the fear that it will be yanked out and I’d be embarrassed. Maybe Velcro would work. Maybe I gave up on stuffing my pants too early. There might be a full proof way to do it.
As Terry and Rick hang out, chemistry starts to build…well, one-sided chemistry. Terry is losing her love for Kevin and is falling for Rick. After outsmarting Greg a few times, Rick gains popularity and decides to double date with Terry to the prom and this is when things get sticky. Kevin is pissed because his girl now has short hair and is being strange and Terry is trying to avoid Sandy at all costs because she got the sock the first time. The second time, she might get the WAP (Just learned the term. If you’re offended, I’m sorry, but I wanted to use that term somewhere for something).
The prom becomes the finale where everything is exposed. At one point, Terry rips open her shirt to show her breasts to Rick and prove she’s a girl. Damn, I don’t think any of my friends are secretly girls, but they have breasts. Man breasts. If they exposed them to me, I would not find them as wonderful as the ones in this film, I don’t think.
At the end of the film, Buddy gets picked up by some biker woman and she’s easily in her forties. A forty-something with a 15-year-old could only happen in the 1980s and this film was in the eighties…so, I guess it’s OK.
JUST ONE OF THE GUYS is a decent film. It’s more of a drama than a comedy, but they were pushing for more of a comedy. The silly moments that were meant to be a riot with Buddy dancing in his underwear and the alien guys speaking their own language was not funny at all. They were painfully unfunny.
Hyser does a good job in the lead role and despite the absurd premise, makes it work. I enjoyed the film even though many of the characters sucked. It’s worth a watch if you like 80’s films and if you like this, watch HE’S MY GIRL. If you don’t like this, watch HE’S MY GIRL. Damn, that was a good movie.
