By Geno McGahee
(Thanks to Kevin Scott for recommending this film.)
The 80’s style of action films didn’t give up in the 80s. There are some films in the early 90s that stayed true to the style and one of the films was HARLEY DAVIDSON AND THE MARLBORO MAN. Mickey Rourke and Don Johnson team up and the results are pure magic.
Harley Davidson (Rourke) is a biker, obviously, and is on the road after a night with some hot chick and we get to know him quickly. He stops at a gas station and beats up two goons that were trying to rob it. I like Rourke, but the facial expression he had in this film reminded me of Dana Carvey’s in TRAPPED IN PARADISE. I hate Carvey. I had to put that hatred aside and remember that I was watching Rourke, not that no-talent idiot.
Harley makes his way to a bar where Marlboro Man (Johnson) is duking it out with a big Native American guy. After a successful fight, the two head off to a bar that they know well, but Harley isn’t exactly welcome. Jack (Big John Stud) has some bad blood over a girl Harley made it with, and the two get into a fist fight. Now, there is no way that Rourke would ever have a chance against Big John Stud, not even in a body slam challenge.
Jack’s girlfriend, Lulu is played by Vanessa Williams, and I loved the fact that this film had Big John Stud dating Vanessa Williams. They don’t call him “Stud” for nothing. I wonder if she was a fan of the WWE/WWF at the time and was in awe of Stud. Probably not.
Harley and Marlboro find out that the bar that they love is closing down unless they can come up with 2.5 million dollars. They decide to rob a bank to get the money to make things right. They hit up an armored car and steal the money, but they are attacked by a bunch of guys in long leather uniforms, led by Alexander (Daniel Baldwin). Alexander and his goons look cool and have powerful guns and have no reservations about killing their own men to get to the thieves taking the goods from the armored truck.
When the boys get away, they open up the bags of money and discover that they have actually stolen a new street drug, which is why those bad guys were after them. They try to make things right by giving the drugs back in exchange for 2.5 million to save the bar, but things get really bad after the swap. The men in leather dresses are now out to kill the duo and take back the money and they even (spoiler) kill Big John Stud. That sucked. I would have liked to see Jack make it to the ending, giving high fives to anyone that was willing to slap his hand, while clutching Vanessa Williams who says: “You’re way hotter than Andre the Giant.”
It’s fight or flight for the duo, but they have to make things right and plan to take down all bad guys, which is the only way to do an action film. It’s not a good action film if the hero hauls ass and never returns, although I’d love to hear the line “where the fuck did Rambo go?”
Harley and Marlboro go after the leather dresses and then track down the kingpin, Chance (Tom Sizemore). He has Kimiko with him, a hot chick that doesn’t do much and that’s too bad. Tia Carrere is in that role and she’s pretty good. They could have given her a couple lines. Maybe she could say “Hey Chance, doesn’t that guy Jack look like Big John Stud?”
The ending is as awesome as I’d hoped. They were in a high rise skyscraper with big windows. If Chance did not get knocked out of that window at the end, I would have been upset, but they checked all the right boxes and ended this very well.
HARLEY DAVIDSON AND THE MARLBORO MAN is a tremendous action film from start to finish with a great cast and pace. I loved this movie and was able to stop thinking about Dana Carvey’s fucked up expression in TRAPPED IN PARADISE, about halfway through. I highly recommend this one.
