By Geno McGahee
Every year, Scared Stiff Reviews presents you with a list of horror movies that are perfect for your Halloween festivities. We try to bring you something that is a little more obscure…something away from the mainstream that you may not have heard of and you may just enjoy. I’m not going to recommend THE EXORCIST or THE EVIL DEAD, because you already know of them and it makes no sense to tell you to watch them. I want to give you something new.
Last year, I gave you some holiday advice and it still holds true. Tell all the fat girls that dressing like hot school girls is not a good costume. If they run out of Winnie the Pooh costumes, move onto another overweight cartoon character. We don’t want to see all that flesh escaping that tiny school girl’s costume! And shame on the manufacturer that made those in their sizes! Shame on you!
Also, if a teenager comes to your door Halloween night and says “Trick or Treat,” give them some candy, because if you don’t, expect some damage to be done to your home or car. “I’m not giving him anything. He’s 15!” That sort of attitude will bring eggs by the dozen, chucked at your home and car and as you run out to find out who’s doing it, they will hit you in the balls with eggs as well…all because you didn’t want to give them a Snickers.
So, now that I’m warmed up and have erased the vision of the 300 pound chick dressed like a school girl, I can move on to the list you have been eagerly waiting for, or at least, I assume you’ve been waiting for it…
1. MADMAN – How about a crazy farmer with an axe, terrorizing a camp? Made around the same time that FRIDAY THE 13TH and THE BURNING, MADMAN is a memorable slasher that has found life again recently with talks of a big scale remake. The 1981 classic is a great way set the Halloween mood. It’s a great horror movie.
2. CLICK: THE CALENDAR GIRL KILLER – I love drag queen killers. There is something about a guy dressing up like a woman and going on a killing spree. In this flick, we have a man dressed up like a nurse, going around killing models. Now, this is not really a scary movie, but it is horror and it is hilarious. The film is so amusing that you will not regret adding it to your Halloween line up.
3. TIME WALKER – An alien mummy at a college campus. You can’t really do much better than that for a scenario. This film is shot very old school, giving you the less is more initially, and then leading to a mummy filled finish. If you like aliens and mummies, then you will enjoy TIME WALKER.
4. RACE WITH THE DEVIL – Great acting mixed with a great storyline make this Satanic road trip well worth the watch. Two couples in a Winnebago witness a Satanic ritualistic murder and soon find out that they cannot trust anyone and getting out of the area is not going to be easy. It presents a mixture of action and horror and a great ending, bringing some creepiness and fun to your Halloween night.
5. FAMILY SECRET – A mystery about a dead grandmother that is apparently back to hack up her family with a trusty meat cleaver. The hunt for the granny leads to the uncovering of a family secret that has been buried for years. With more twists and turns than your normal horror film, FAMILY SECRET proves to be a winner with an ending to remember.
6. THE LAST EXORCISM – This film is sort of mainstream, but I felt the need to mention it anyway. I was so pleasantly surprised by this film and its ability to capture the imagination of the public that I needed to recommend it. We have a preacher that has lost his faith and is making money by faking exorcisms until he runs across a girl that may actually be possessed. This film made a lot of noise in the horror world and there is a reason why. This is a very good movie.
7. CHILDREN SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS – A 1970’s zombie movie that came out before EVIL DEAD and has many similarities, although this movie is much, much stranger. We have a group of actors going to an island and they accidentally raise the dead. Now they are stuck in a house, fighting off the zombies. The dialogue is great and some of the scenes, including Alan, the star, marrying Orville, a male corpse, are just so strange that you can’t help but to love them. This is one of my favorite movies and a must for Halloween.
8. MIDNIGHT – A film heavily inspired by THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE features a girl on the run from her perverted stepfather and she, and two others, stumble across a family of Satanists that want to kill them as sacrifices. Oddly, the perverted stepfather turns hero and the fight is on. This is a very compelling flick.
9. WARLOCK MOON – A college girl meets up with a college boy that claims to work for the newspaper, and they stumble across an abandoned spa with a nasty history. Made the same year that THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE was, WARLOCK MOON, is similar in nature but unique, with some twists and turns and a whole lot of fun in between. It’s been widely ignored by the horror community, but it’s somewhat creepy and I highly recommend it.
10. SHRIEK OF THE MUTILATED – If you like Sasquatch (If you don’t like Sasquatch, what the f**k is your problem?), then you will love SHRIEK OF THE MUTILATED. A college professor gathers his students on a trip to find a Bigfoot, but in his past expeditions, he has reportedly had students murdered by the ape, and that comes back to haunt him here. This 1970’s film is strange, like many were at the time, but it begins sort of silly and then, by the end, you are sincerely creeped out. It keeps you guessing and the ending is priceless. Don’t buy all the negative reviews. This movie is outstanding.
11. TERROR ON TOUR – A group called “The Clowns,” which were heavily influenced by KISS, are on tour and their shows are getting more violent. Much like Alice Cooper, they decapitate people on stage and sing of death and things that are dark and morbid. Well, somebody dressed up like a member of the group is going around and killing some of the groupies in this incredibly fun whodunit. TERROR ON TOUR has such a great ending that you will have to rewind it a few times before you get your fill. I love this movie.
12. FIEND – This hard to find classic from Don Dohler is slow moving at first, but gets it footing and will have you on the edge of your seat. A man moves into the neighborhood and seems to be the normal quiet guy, but his neighbor suspects that he’s some sort of serial killer, and is responsible for the missing people in the area. This movie is one of, if not the best Dohler film.
13. VIDEO VIOLENCE – A couple opens a video store in a new town and realize that something is wrong. When a tape shows up that shows the local mailman being murdered, they report it, but the police seem to want to ignore it. There may be a town conspiracy. VIDEO VIOLENCE is a low budget film with a great story and it has that look of a video you’d rent in the 1980s.
14. KILLER PARTY – A half slasher/half demon movie that cannot make up its mind turns into a great horror movie in the end. Apparently, this movie was made, scrapped halfway, and then started up again a few years later with different cooks in the kitchen, steering a whodunit into demonic territory, leading to a pretty scary ending. KILLER PARTY is a mess, but it’s a great mess.
15. DEMONS – This film always scared me as a kid and my fear hasn’t gone away that much watching it now. A bunch of strangers are invited to a showing of a horror movie, but they all get trapped inside of a theater and they are all turning into killer demons. Some strange stuff happens like a helicopter crashing through the roof and the star on a motorcycle, cutting off demon heads as he speeds up and down the walkways. It’s got its flaws, but DEMONS is a pretty scary film.
OK, so there you have my top 15 horror picks for 2011. Some may be hard to find, but if you locate them, you will not be disappointed. Enjoy your Halloween!
