Flash Gordon (1980) - Science Fiction Review

By Melissa Antoinette Garza

My older brother and sister watched this film constantly when I was a kid. Back then my main attraction to the movie was the killer QUEEN soundtrack which is still an enticing motivator. Though, it isn’t the most enticing part of the movie. That specific award goes directly to Fico (Richard O’Brien). Fico climbs vines, gets wet, has a knife, and plays music. He also rocks the hell out of green, but I’ll discuss more on him later.

FLASH GORDON (1980) opens with Emperor Ming (Max von Sydow) of planet Mongo looking for something to do. He’s bored and so he decides to screw with earth. He causes all sorts of natural disasters and catastrophes.

Meanwhile, football player Flash Gordon (Sam J. Jones) is on an airplane struck down by a meteorite sent by Ming. Ming also makes the pilots disappear forcing Flash and travel agent Dale (Melody Anderson) to crash land.

Dr. Hans Zarkov’s (Topol) explains that the disasters are not natural and that the country is being attacked. Dale and Flash aren’t fully convinced because Zarkov’s reputation in the scientific community had been tarnished. Still the three end up in a spaceship of Zarkov’s and go to Mongo.

The three are immediately captured and brought into a gorgeous red castle with gold lights and guards in matching uniforms. Huge statues of Ming decorate the building. Sure, Ming is a fascist. I admit that, but the man has a flare for fashion and decor.

He also fancies Dale. He pus her under a spell that briefly eliminates her resistance. Ming insists they take her, but Flash fights them football-style tackling and such. It’s a fun scene and to see some of the Mongo inhabitants do secret attacks is also spectacular.

Now, during this down and dirty battle, Fico is in the background watching.It’s the first visual we get of that delectable man. I love Fico! I want more Fico. Thankfully, he comes back later

Eventually, Flash is taken down. Ming’s daughter, Princess Aura (Ornella Muti) has the hots for Gordon and begs her father to let him go. Ming refuses and has Flash killed. Aura plays nice with the doctor and has him resurrect Flash so that she can have her way with him. I like Aura’s rousing sexuality and despite Fico stating that he didn’t much care for her, I would have adored seeing her try to win him over.

As Aura and Flash escape in a spaceship headed for Arboria. Aboard, Aura pounces on Flash who briefly welcomes the make-out session.

While Flash is away, Ming and friends use some CLOCKWORK ORANGE (1971) style subliminal mind-fuckery on Zarkov. As that is happening, Dale is being readied to be Ming’s concubine when Flash taps into her telepathically. Dale warns Flash to stay away from the castle and tell him that she’s been locked into Ming’s room, but she’s not a damsel-in-distress. Dale in her own right is a bad ass. She gets away on her own and even takes out some guards. While she’s getting away, she comes across Zarkov and tells him that Flash is alive.

Finally, Flash and Aura arrive at Fico’s place (Arboria). Aura’s other beau and a man who is deeply in love with her, Prince Barin (Timothy Dalton)reigns as leader. Barin is not happy to see the football star and almost kills Flash drowning him in a cage. His jealousy is in hyper-drive and Aura’s libido isn’t helping matters.

Barin unsure of whether he’s doing the right thing has a sit-down talk with Fico who is playing beautiful music. He offers sound advice and helps develop a plan. Now, Fico and Barin would have been a great couple to pursue. Fantasy fodder commence!

Fico jumps in the water, frees Flash, goes up a vine (so yummy) and then pulls a blade on him. Admittedly, there is a sick little part of me that says, “Do it, Fico! Fuck him up!” It isn’t that I hate Flash. I don’t. He’s cool, but if killing Flash makes Fico happy, I’m okay with it. Sorry earth, we’re not being saved today. Fico wanted to play with knives.

Still, he doesn’t stab him. Instead, Barin nearly kills Flash again culminating in a battle on a rotating circular stage with retracting blades. The men are equipped with whips and everyone watches on. Even Dale is brought there. Flash defeats Barin and the Prince nearly falls to his death but Flash saves him. This solidifies a friendship between the two former foes.

Still, if you’re going to have a scene with whips in a movie that has Richard O’Brien, give him the whip. Please! Let Fico whip Flash and Barin a few times…um….to teach them a lesson on friendship. Sure, that’s the reason I want to see that. 😉

Dale, back in captivity and awaiting a forced marriage to Ming, is put in a room with Aura. The women have a brief fight but find common ground and connect. Aura even offers a poison to murder Ming, but Dale insists she try to keep her word and marry the emperor.

As the wedding approaches, Flash is on the way to stop Ming once and for all. At the ceremony, everyone is in attendance. Most importantly, Fico is on-screen again for a few moments.

This is a fun crazy action adventure that should have been more popular than it was. Everything is campy, colorful, over-the-top and glam to the max. It’s flashy. I love flashy.

Now, I do have one complaint. Richard O’Brien was not in this enough! I wanted to see Fico throw a hot-and-heavy party with every gorgeous dame and dashing gent on Mongo. Hey Hollywood, there is still plenty of time to make a semi-sequel focusing on Fico’s sexual exploits. God, how I’d love to see that! Please, let me see that!

In the end, FLASH GORDON is one hell of a great ride made so much better by the delightful presence of Richard O’Brien. Seek this baby out and enjoy the music, the camp, the cast, the characters and especially suave sexy Fico.