By Geno McGahee
I have seen a lot of negative reviews for EVIL CLUTCH, but I have to tell you to ignore them! A reviewer that cannot appreciate this film wouldn’t know a good film if they shoved it sideways up their backside. There is no question that this film is scattered and may not make a great deal of sense, but what it lacks in consistency, it more than makes up for in the amusement factor. This film was hilarious.
We begin with a witch of some sort…or maybe she was a demon or the devil himself…don’t know, but she had an amazing power to turn her vagina into a huge monster hand capable of grabbing a guy’s balls and ripping them straight off, and that’s exactly what she did. She then laughed maniacally about it.
We then meet Cindy (Coralina Cataldi–Tassoni) and Tony (Diego Ribon), a young couple that are visiting a small village when they come across Algernoon (Luciano Crovato). Algeroon warns them of the horrors of the village, but they dismiss his crazy stories and pay the ultimate price.
OK, now we have a zombie and some demon/witch thing causing trouble. Tony sort of turns into a zombie and screams after demanding sex and then he makes out with the demon/witch but when the roots of a tree come to life, he freaks. He got out of there when the getting was good. The guy before him had his dick and balls ripped clean off. Well, Algeroon tries to stop the witch/demon and cuts off her vagina monster but you can’t keep a good monster down. She rejoices and looks at the audience and smiles, allowing us into the celebration.
The film ends with a zombie using a fishing pole to catch a victim, a severed head explodes, a zombie turns to mush and a bunch of other things happen that look cool but don’t make a great deal of sense.
Overall, EVIL CLUTCH reminds me of BURIAL GROUND. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, it doesn’t bare any resemblance of a coherent story, and the dialogue is laughably bad, but the performances are hilariously over the top and I found myself laughing over and over again. The film was shot well and they did borrow a lot of movement shots from the EVIL DEAD…and there was a smidgen of DEMONS in there, but it certainly isn’t as good as either.
EVIL CLUTCH isn’t a great film but it is certainly amusing and well worth a watch. I highly recommend it!
Scared Stiff Rating: 7/10
