By Geno McGahee
There is a theme in a lot of holiday movies. The main character works in the city and when they hit the country, they realize that everyone in the city are assholes and scum and that the true meaning of life can only be found in the woods. I sort of get that. I hate the city. You see a bum on every corner begging for money for their crack habit. You don’t get that in the country…I don’t think. You get guys doing weird shit with sheep, but that’s about it.
In CHRISTMAS LODGE, Mary (Erin Karpluk), visiting her family in the country and learns that her Grampa (John Innes) is gravely ill, but she will not talk about it. Every time her dad, Mike (Michael Kopsa), starts talking about his health, Mary walks away, saying “I’m not talking about this.” She goes up to find her grandfather bedridden and on oxygen, but she is optimistic that he will rebound and be back no matter how much her father pisses on her parade.
Mary’s mother, Betty (Rebecca Toolan), is older than dirt. She seems too old for Mary’s dad. Maybe that’s why he is so negative. I thought that Betty was Mike’s mother at first, but maybe he’s into older chicks. Everyone has their tastes and if that’s the case, have at it Mike, but Toolan just didn’t seem right for the role at all.
A romantic weekend for Mary with her boyfriend from the city is met with negativity from the family. Her brothers call him “fancy pants” and that is just bad writing. What guy calls another guy “fancy pants?” I’ve disliked many men and I have known many douche bags, but I’ve never thought about calling them fancy pants, unless they were wearing pants that I deemed fancy.
As Mary and fancy pants go on a hike, they find Charlene (Michelle Creber), injured at the bottom of a hill. They carry her home and her house turns out to be a sentimental place that Mary remembers as Christmas Lodge. Jack (Michael Shanks), Charlene’s dad, shows up and immediately recognizes Mary and vice versa. They were both friends as children and here they are, reunited, but fancy pants isn’t happy and keeps insulting the lodge. I wouldn’t call him fancy pants at this point. I’d call him asshole pants.
So, the story was in place. Mary was going to leave fancy pants for Jack and that the two men would have this big dispute as we see in so many other holiday films, but something odd happened. Mary got dumped by fancy pants and he was cool about it. I did not see that coming. I thought he would be a total dick and try to keep Mary, but things didn’t work out that way. Now the path was clear to get with Jack.
After realizing that the lodge is in major disrepair, Mary gets her dad and brothers to check it out and evaluate it. It needs 2 million dollars in repair and, thankfully, Mary works for a company that restores things. She pleads to the board and they give her half the money, but where will the rest come from? When he cries to her ailing grandfather, he shocks the family by taking his son and grandsons off all other projects to restore the lodge. Mike talks about the contracts he has with other residents and that he can’t give the time because he’s locked into other projects. Grampa demands that he fucks over all of those people and focus on the lodge. If I hired Mike and his company to work on my property and he never showed up, I’d drive to that lodge, find Mike, and kick him square in the nuts, and then I’d find that father of his and give him the same.
Grampa has a stroke and may not make it to Christmas, but everything starts coming together. Mary and Jack get engaged and the stroke seemed to cure Grampa. At first, when you see him, he was doing this thing with his mouth to show that he had some damage, but that went away quickly and he shows up at the lodge in perfect health. WHAT?!!! I know this is a holiday movie that is supposed to make you happy and fill you with joy, but I need to call bullshit when I see it. If Grampa was on death’s door, on oxygen and has a stroke, he should have dropped dead or at least be worse than before. This just seems unbelievable to me.
CHRISTMAS LODGE is a good holiday film. I enjoyed it. It’s not a standout film, but it’s worth a watch. I recommend it.
Rating: 6.5/10
