By Geno McGahee
Hallmark has the Xmas marathons and a lot of these films are very similar. We get somebody from the city coming to a small town and realizing that they lost touch with humanity. They fall in love and then move away from the big city. I don’t blame city people for moving away. The city is a place you visit. Too much hustle bustle. Too many people refusing to say thank you when you hold the door open for them. Too much crime. In small towns, you have all sorts of nice people that say thank you when you hold the door open. Not much crime. Might be boring to some, but it’s small town life and they display here in “CHRISTMAS LAND.”
We begin with Glinda Stanwick (Maureen McCormick) on a sleigh with her granddaughter, sledding around Christmas Land. McCormick was on the Brady Bunch and I really thought that I was seeing Christine Taylor, who was in the Brady Bunch movie in this role. They look very alike. It wasn’t until I began writing this review that I realized it wasn’t Taylor, but McCormick in the role. McCormick is aging well, by the way. Good for her.
Jules (Nikki Deloach), the granddaughter, is now all grown up and has a job in the city. She is well off and her life is pretty much set. Her boyfriend, Mitchell (Jason-Shane Scott), is pretty attached and wants to keep everything as is. The unexpected happens and Jules is notified that she has been left Christmas Land. When she takes a trip over, she is shocked to find out that she is sitting on an entire town and that it is worth millions. The immediate plan is to sell it and cash in and Mitchell is quick to try to help, but there is a lot at stake here.
Tucker (Luke MacFarlane), a local attorney, spends a lot of time in Christmas Land and much of the people there are quite used to the way things are. They assume that the return of Jules is a good thing, but then she sells them down the river. She strikes a deal with Mason Richards (Richard Karn), but she was under the impression that the town would remain the way that it was. Have you ever met a Mason that wasn’t up to no good? Mason plans to tear down the entire town and build something bad…like a shopping mall or strip club. I forget what he was building, but the point is that he was tearing down Christmas Land and Jules has to break it to the people.
As she stays in the town, she gets closer to Tucker, who actually went to school with her current boyfriend. This is going to be messy. Jules begins to see that her boyfriend is a tool and that Tucker is a better choice. When she discovers that Mitchell knew that Mason was going to destroy the town, she kicks him to the curb. We all knew this was going to happen. In these movies, the city girl always drops her man to find another one in the small town.
Jules tries to save the town and Mason gives her a chance. He wants his money back along with another 1.2 million dollars or so. She immediately strikes a deal with a company and brings in 850,000. Why is this guy gonna tear down the town when there is so much money to be made? Is it the annoying and overly happy elderly population in town? I wouldn’t want to deal with them, but if you can make 850,000 free and clear, right out of the gate, why not keep the town and keep it running? Mason probably hates Christmas. Perhaps somebody broke his heart during the holiday and he has spent all this time, buying town after town, destroying all Xmas references. OK, maybe not.
So, the rest of the town gathers their resources, including Tucker’s father (I think) that opens a coffee can with a huge stack of hundred dollar bills. Where did he get all those hundreds from? When you save money, you just don’t throw hundreds into a coffee can. You throw various bills into a can or whatever. It’s unusual for him to have all hundreds. Perhaps he’s a male escort that sets no boundaries if the price is right. Hundred dollar and make them holler.
As expected, they save the town and Jules takes her rightful place as the new owner and operator of events. Tucker becomes her new man and the old people of the town cheer loudly. Mason, remarkably, keeps all the money and walks away to rejoice. This was weird to me. He witnessed all the Christmas spirit and I expected him to not take the excess money that he asked for to sell it back, but I guess he is a big prick after all.
CHRISTMAS LAND isn’t bad, but it lacks an edge. It goes through the motion and is just too soft to really stand out. The setting was good. The story wasn’t bad and the acting was good across the board, but it was almost too nicey-nice and there was never a real moment in the film that would draw any emotion. It was predictable and tame, but not a bad watch, especially if you are a reviewer looking to review holiday films this year and you have the Hallmark channel.
Rating: 5/10
