By Geno McGahee
I recently watched the 35th anniversary version of CHILDREN SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS, one of my favorite horror films of all time. It featured new footage and a new edit of the film, and it truly gave it a new and creepier feel.
I remember watching this movie on “Spine-Tinglers” as a youth and the heavily edited TV version was still very creepy, and certain scenes stuck with me. When a zombie that was just a corpse throughout the entire movie is found sitting up on a bed, it scared the hell out of me as a child, and watching it now, it’s not much different. This film is referred to as a “horror/comedy” but I contend that this is a straight out horror flick. Either that, or a comedy scares me at a times.
The movie is co-written by Alan Ormsby, who plays “Alan” in the film, and Bob Clark. Clark is also responsible for BLACK CHRISTMAS, A CHRISTMAS STORY, and PORKY’S. He makes quality films and this film is no different. It is a strange and intriguing story, inspired by NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. Another horror classic, “EVIL DEAD” borrows heavily from this film, even though a lot of message boards contend it’s the other way around….despite the fact that EVIL DEAD came out nine years after CSPWDT.
We begin with an acting group, traveling to an island where they buried the evil dead. Alan, the boss, is a jerk that threatens the gang with termination if they cross him. He brings them all to the island in hopes that he will be able to raise the dead and that they will be under his control. When it doesn’t work, he calls Satan a swindler and notes that he “paid his money and expects his merchandise!”
Well, the Satanic ritual worked and now the dead are rising, but the group isn’t aware of it. They have retreated to a cabin and brought the corpse of Orville (Seth Sklarey) to the house for some fun. The strange fun that Alan has planned is a mock wedding to the corpse, leading to a night in the bedroom where he straddles him and says that they are going to get “closer.” This film has been called “weird” by critics and with good reason.
The mental collapse of Anya (Anya Ormsby) is great, especially in this new version. She has instincts that are pretty correct, until she realizes that Alan is not paying respect to the dead. He is being a prick, as usual. At one point, he sings about decking the halls with bones and then slaps her in the face with his robe, prompting her to scream: “You’re evil!”
The dead are attacking and the villainous character of Alan gets better and more evil. At one point (spoiler), he throws Anya into the group of zombies that are attacking to save himself. The zombies looked shocked, as if they were saying: “And we thought we were evil!” Alan meets his own terrible fate, but the movie is so well written and fun that it stands out as a great zombie movie. It’s unique, creepy, and still scares me to this day.
CHILDREN SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS is a classic, although the reception it gets from horror fans and critics is a love/hate one. The reviews are either proclaiming its greatness or saying that it is one of the worst films ever shot. I’m proclaiming the greatness. This is a great movie, a classic that stands alone among other zombie flicks. I recommend this movie.
Scared Stiff Rating: 10/10. The Perfect Horror Movie!
