By Geno McGahee
I saw the trailer for BEYOND THE DOOR and really wanted to see it. It looked creepy…very creepy and it takes a special sort of movie to scare me. Well, there are certain porn movies that creep me out but that’s a different sort of creeping….more disgusted then creeped out. Anyway, this movie looked like THE EXORCIST and although I’m far from religious, it is still a scary film and if this movie could capture the magic, then maybe I would sleep with the light on.
The movie begins with Jessica Barrett (Juliette Mills) witnessing some Satanic ritual. What is it with Satanists and hot nude chicks? Well, don’t get excited too soon, they superimposed a dude’s face over the hot chick’s body and it was disturbing! No dude has tits like that! Well, some do, but they are not perky…they are fat man boobs and those are as gross as it gets! So, we began with a disturbing picture.
Dimitri (Richard Johnson) is being controlled by Satan, and is given a few days of his life back so he can do the devil’s bidding. The film actually begins with the devil doing some narration and talking about how much of a badass he is and how he could be sitting right next to you, which was sort of lame. Dimitri looks evil, makes evil faces, walks around with an evil strut. Good job Richard Johnson! You looked like one evil dude!
Jessica is pregnant, although she is confused. She is apparently 3 months pregnant and it could not be because her hubby Robert (Gabriele Lavia) didn’t have a chubby then. He had a great mustache and looked like a 1970’s porn star and bragged that he could get any woman he wants because he’s a photographer. I’m not sure if that’s true.
At one point, Jessica is vomiting blood in a sink…lots of it, and Robert just says “are you OK?” Wouldn’t that prompt you to call 911 and get some help? What was he thinking? Perhaps he was thinking about the vast amount of women he could get because he’s a photographer. You don’t hear that with many other professions. I could get any girl I want because I’m a butcher.
Two kids, one of which fucking loves Campbell’s Soup. They must have sponsored the movie because one kid is drinking it with a straw and has a picture of it above his bed, and when they pack, they pack two cans of Green Pea soup. The two children are the first to come face to face with the evil and there are some creepy moments. Some of the dolls walk and then they have glowing eyes and just look genuinely scary. When they run to mom, her head begins to spin…neat.
Satan possesses Jessica and her transformation into the demon is quite scary, but this movie is so slow moving that it’s tough to maintain the vibe. THE EXORCIST was scary and the dialogue was so good and story so compelling, you were glued. It created an atmosphere that kept you creeped out, which is something that you don’t have here with BEYOND THE DOOR. I heard that THE EXORCIST people sued this movie due to the similarity and won, but they are vastly different with the exception of the depiction of the possessed woman. They are different stories, but THE EXORCIST is a much much better movie.
In the end, BEYOND THE DOOR is worth a watch, if you like movies like THE EXORCIST and ROSEMARY’S BABY, but don’t expect a movie of equal quality. It’s watchable but nowhere near a classic.
Scared Stiff Rating: 5.5/10. Too slow to maintain fear.
