By Melissa Antoinette Garza
My best friend, Meghan Winkler and I, had the afternoon to ourselves. We decided to grab a quick lunch and go see the home invasion film You’re Next (2011). The last horror production we had seen was The Conjuring (2013) which exceeded every expectation. Though I wasn’t anticipating the film to be of the same caliber, I did hold out hope that at the very least it would be a decent production.
Initially, Meghan and I were the only people in the theater, but that soon changed making this one of the oddest movie-going experiences I have ever had. Within the first fifteen minutes, a short, disheveled, and extremely distraught woman in her early 60s entered. She walked right over to the two seats directly in front of us. She appeared lost. I asked if I could help when she told me she had been in the same theater for the last showing and had left her glasses behind. She relayed that her husband was now in the car and refused to get out and help even though she couldn’t see well. She seemed frightened and told Meghan and I that her husband was mean to her.
We took turns telling her that she deserved better and then Meghan and I used our cellphone lights to try and find this poor woman her glasses. We ended up on the cinema floor looking behind and underneath all of the nearby seats. When we still couldn’t find them, I went to the cashier who sold candy at the concession stand. I asked her to turn on the lights and without hesitation she did so which aided Meghan in finding the glasses. The lady was so thankful. She then asked me to escort her out of the cinema because she couldn’t find her way out as she usually followed her husband’s lead.
This entire experience struck me as strange and comical because with my recent health issues, I have felt very helpless and just plain awful. It took helping this woman to make me feel useful again. I can honestly say that I got more from the experience than the woman.
As for the movie, I predicted nothing more than a standard home invasion movie. Even though it had been made in 2011, but not released until recently, I believed in its potential. The trailer appeared to be promising as it showed a large family being terrorized by a group of people in cheap plastic animalistic masks.
Prior to viewing it, I was convinced that even if it were subpar, it would do its job as this sub-genre petrifies me. I am so terrified about home invasions that I suffer from a recurring nightmare where an unknown assailant breaks into my house. I can’t speak or move. I’m completely paralyzed and throughout the dream it always feels as though I am semi-conscious. My husband has shaken me awake before as these dreams cause me to scream in my sleep.
Still, as there are aspects of my personality that can be considered sadistic, I was geared up in anticipation for this movie. I remember seeing The Strangers (2008) in the movie theater with my friend Jeremy Alverio. It was during the daylight hours and afterwards I was going to a barbecue at my brother’s house. I remember that despite the sun shining bright and me being among good friends and family, it took hours for my body to relax and days for me to stop talking about it.
Going into You’re Next (2011), I expected something similarly methodical in its build-up. The Strangers (2008) like Black Christmas (1974) and Funny Games (1997) before it, built a strong connection between the victims and the audience. There was never a moment in those movies where I did not sympathize with the ordeal of those terrorized. This made the tension almost unbearable. I knew from the trailers that there were going to be more jump scares in this film than the others mentioned. Still, I thought that those would take a backseat to the type of horror that would go home with the viewer. I believed that there was going to be a level of subtlety within some of the movie.
For example, in The Strangers, a young girl known as Dollface arrives at the home of the main characters. She knocks on the door and Liv Tyler’s character Kristen answers. Dollface then asks, “Is Tamara home?”
Kristen advises the girl that she has the wrong house. The girl answers with an odd question, “are you sure?” If that wasn’t panic inducing enough, Dollface returns a little later with the same question.
The initial scene was restrained, yet it was the introduction to the villains. It set the tone for all that followed and it was within the simplicity of the dialogue and the lack of action that made it memorable and downright horrifying.
I had anticipated that You’re Next would follow a similar pattern though understandably with a higher body count and at times a faster pace. My vision was that direct Adam Wingard would paint the picture of the all-American family, we would meet the killers and only then would it pick up speed similar to Vacancy (2002) or Race with the Devil (1975).
From this standpoint, I thought the movie had great potential. I didn’t expect anything original or even thought-provoking, but nonetheless I was certain I’d walk out afraid of my own shadow afterwards.
Sadly, I was wrong on all accounts. There was very little right with the film, and the few things that were good were so scarce and hid through so much absurdity that it was hardly worth sitting through the movie at all.
The movie opens as a woman who just had sex with her beau is butchered by someone in a lamb mask. The man then finds his girlfriend’s dead body and the words, “You’re Next” scrawled in blood on glass doors.
The main characters are those that are staying next door to the victims we see killed in the first scene. Paul (Rob Moran) and Aubrey Davison (Barbara Crampton) are oblivious to the crime that took place and are completely focused on celebrating their wedding anniversary with their children and the spouses of their children. They have gathered everyone to their vacation home in Missouri which for all intents and purposes is in the middle of nowhere and gets virtually no cell phone range.
The family is an annoying bunch of empty characters that remind me of something out of Caddyshack II (1988). There were actual moments within the movie that made me think of the sketch The Brothers’ Brothers from the early 90s television show In Living Color.
First, there is Drake (Joe Swanberg) who is in his early to mid-30s. Both he and his wife Kelly (Margaret Laney) seem as though they may have a painkiller problem as in their first scene together, he asks if she brought Vicodin which she carries in her suitcase. The duo also may have intimacy issues as in their only solo scene together Drake gets amorous and Kelly uninterested pushes him away and fastens her bra. The only other element they could have used to make this couple complete caricatures would be to have them discuss artificial insemination or adopting a child from overseas. There are just certain elements that are so overdone in films when one is trying to relay that the character is affluent.
When the family all sit down together, it becomes apparent that there is a history of problems between Drake and his brother Crispian (AJ Bowen). Things escalate when Crispian discloses how he met his current girlfriend Erin (Sharni Vinson). Erin had to resign from her position as she was Cripisan’s teacher’s aide at college, so as to avoid a conflict of interest, she left her position. When Drake is told, he says it’s unprofessional and the two men share words.
Next is the worst of the worst. Aimee (Amy Seimetz) is the only daughter of Paul and Aubrey. She’s loud, obnoxious and introduces her boyfriend Tariq (Ti West) to absolutely everyone in the same exact fashion again and again. Thankfully, she isn’t on screen much, but when she is her voice is like fingernails on chalkboard.
Lastly, the youngest brother Felix (Nicholas Tucci) is fairly quiet and overshadowed by his Hot Topic goth girlfriend Zee (Wendy Glenn). Zee reminds me of the way that Kirk Cameron would view fans of heavy metal. It’s just so over the top, unimaginative and stupid.
Soon the characters are getting arrows to the head and people are attacking from the outside. It is also revealed that a few of the assailants are on the inside of the cabin and has stalked the home for days.
The best character and one shining light in this dismal failure is Erin. It is explained that until she was 15, she grew up in a survivalist camp. Therefore, she can successfully fight back and set traps that inflict a lot of pain. She’s believable and brought back memories of Nancy fighting Freddy Krueger in the original Nightmare on Elm. Street. Erin plays the part of a strong woman without a hint of irony which I respect. The character wasn’t indestructible but could most certainly stand on her own and think on her feet. Her decisions and ability to out-think and outsmart the villains was the most captivating part of the movie. She wasn’t above feeling afraid but she was able to work through that emotion. It is because of her upbringing that her capabilities made sense. The actress was fantastic and the energy she brought to the role was excellent. It is so sad to see such a talent wasted on this film.
The film like so many of today’s modern thrillers has a “twist” which is not only ridiculous but can be seen from a mile. There is a bit of a double-twist which can also be seen by any avid horror movie fan. I think the first murders of the film were written to make the viewer believe the killings were random, but it had the opposite effect. Everything down to the motive was something that both my best friend and I figured out less than twenty minutes in. You’re Next definitely thinks it’s a smart film, but if it wasn’t so bad it would be laughable. It honestly reminds me of a stereotypical jock’s vision of what a horror movie is. There’s actually a tone within the movie that seems insulting of the genre.
Other than the characters which for the most part were horrible, the worst part of the movie was the volume. The film had such little faith in its scares that the piano chords used to introduce jump scares or false frights were so loud that it as the equivalent of someone just screaming in your ear.
In the entire movie, there was only one genuinely creepy moment. Aubrey is lying on her bed and one of the murderers can be seen slowly creeping out. That was a really cool scene, sadly even then the music was so overbearing that it actually took away from the tension.
Home invasion films are always more frightening when the crimes are random. This is especially true in the case of Funny Games and The Strangers, where the terror is maximized because the assailants are young children.
Here rather than follow that formula, the filmmakers decided to mix subgenres and create a slasher/home invasion hybrid which resulted in an uninspired mess.
I would certainly wait for Redbox or cable before viewing this. If given the choice, go see The Conjuring again. Overall, this is just a poorly written mess that has very little going for it.
Scared Stiff Rating: 3.5/10
