By James Witherspoon
Yo, check this out. Only Florida. What is with that state? Y’all know that the state that looks like a dick hanging off the map would be trouble and all the weird news comes straight from it and this is no exception. YA HEARD!
So we got some roadside zoo with some camels. Those are the animals that spit. Y’all know I prefer the ones that swallow. YA HEARD! Some woman got into the enclosure and the camel sat his fat ass right on her and the crazy bitch bit the thing’s nuts! As expected that camel jumped up and let that woman go but obviously gave her that look that screamed “bitch went balls deep!”
I spoke to one of the zookeepers, Edgar Flugg, about this incident and he had the following to say:
“When I first saw that rotund woman in the camel enclosure, I thought she was an escaped hippo that made it into the zoo. It turned out that she was one of those EBT warriors that spend all her food stamp money on Little Debbie snacks and our camel thought that she was going to eat him or try to mate with him. Hell, she was grunting like a camel in heat.
Thanks to her, we have to rub lotion on the camel’s balls and he always gives me that awkward look. Camels are very sexual animals that can blow out a gallon if you know what I mean. Our last zookeeper drowned because of one of our camels.
James, please right this wrong and tell this fat bitch to stop biting the privates of our animals. I’m sick of lubing up their balls.”
Y’all got it Edgar. I’m on it.
