By Geno McGahee
Larry Cohen is responsible for a lot of classic horror movies including the MANIAC COP series, GOD TOLD ME TO, IT’S ALIVE and the 1985 B movie “THE STUFF.” Borrowing from movies like INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS and THE BLOB, THE STUFF brings an alien takeover from a white blob disguised as a popular dessert.
Two men discover some white stuff pumping up from the ground and, for some reason, eat it. They bring it to a corporation and it makes it onto the market under the name of “the Stuff.” It becomes the most popular dessert, but it’s unusually popular. They sell it at the supermarket and they have stores that sell it 24/7. Mo Rutherford (Michael Moriarty) is sent to investigate the product and they could not send somebody with more bravado. They call him “Mo” because when they give him money he “always want Mo.” He also shakes hands and notes “that’s a sweaty palm.” Moriarty is hilarious in this role, extending every word with a great accent.
Mo meets up with the marketing director for The Stuff, Nicole (Andrea Marcovicci), and they hit it off immediately. It’s probably because he used that “always want Mo” line on her. He breaks it to her that he is investigating the product and she is genuinely concerned that the product that she helped market is hurting people. It’s obvious that they are onto something, considering that there was an attempt on Mo’s life. They tried to run him over with a van…with The Stuff logo on it. Why did they take a Stuff van to do it, I wonder. I would have used an unmarked van.
After a kid, Jason (Scott Bloom), is featured in the newspaper for attacking a Stuff display at the grocery store, Mo goes to see him and it’s just in time. Jason’s family are “stuffies” and are trying to kill him for not eating it and becoming one of them. The product is taking over the minds of whoever eats it and they become killers. Jason barely escapes and is now teamed up with Mo and Nicole on this mission to discover the origins of the Stuff and stop it.
A visit to an abandoned town where the Stuff was tested leads to a meeting with Chocolate Chip Charlie (Garrett Morris). As his name suggests, he was involved in the dessert business but was driven out by The Stuff and he wants to know why his cookies didn’t keep the interest of the people. In the town, Mo and Charlie encounter a group of stuffies and have to run for their lives.
After discovering that the Stuff is bubbling from the ground and that everyone at the factory is a stuffy, Mo asks for the help from Colonel Spears (Paul Sorvino). He uses a radio show to reach the people and with the help of Nicole, they get to the people and they start blowing up the factories and the stores, but this one doesn’t end on a totally happy note.
THE STUFF also features great performances by Danny Aiello and Patrick O’Neal. It is a classic 80’s horror film that is more fun than anything else. It is packed with over the top acting, but the prize for most ridiculous goes to Moriarty. His performance in this is incredibly entertaining and his last line “are you eating it or is it eating you” is a great way to end this film. THE STUFF never got the traction that many other horror films of this time got, but this is a quality film and absolutely worth a watch. I highly recommend it.
Rating: 7.5/10
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