By Geno McGahee
My Christmas/Holiday movie spree continues with the new Hallmark movie “THE SANTA STAKEOUT”, and after watching YOU, ME & THE CHRISTMAS TREES, the other recent Hallmark 2021 entry, I must say that this one is a pleasant surprise.
Tanya (Tamera Mowry-Housley) is a holiday-loving detective that is partnered up with Ryan (Paul Campbell), and they get an urgent assignment. There is an art thief and the one common element is a guy that dresses up like Santa and refers to himself as “Mr. Christmas.” I never trust a dude in a Santa suit. I know that most aren’t perverts, but I can’t get it out of my head. I feel bad saying “sicko” as I walk past them at the mall.
Francis Miller, Mr. Christmas, is played by the great Joe Pantoliano. With Pantoliano in this, Hallmark has definitely stacked the deck to a large degree. He can play anything and is naturally likable and is a great actor. He quickly made this role work and I was rooting for him from jump, but I knew he wasn’t the art thief. I’m sorry if I spoiled it for you already, but as a horror movie expert, I know that whodunits always lead you in wrong directions and Mr. Christmas being Mr. Shove This Stolen Art Up Your Ass was highly unlikely.
Ryan and Tanya go on a stakeout across the street from Miller, and they are initially under the radar, but that quickly changes. Tanya gets approached by Stanley (Tom Pickett) and he is a nosy fuck. I hate neighbors like that. He keeps asking questions and assumes that Ryan and Tanya were newlyweds. They go with it and, before they know it, they are involved in the Christmas committee ran by Miller.
The film is pretty good and Tanya and Ryan are likable and as they fall for each other, it comes off as genuine. Credit has to be given to Campbell and Mowry-Housley for their performances. They work together well and the humor works. There were certain moments that I actually laughed and that’s rare for a Hallmark movie. Tanya and Ryan, undercover, have different occupations and Ryan is issued chiropractor and Stanley asks for some free therapy and Ryan gives it and nearly breaks his back. It was pretty funny.
Miller talks about what Christmas means to him and how his deceased wife opened his eyes to the importance of the holiday and every day. Pantoliano is just so good. His speech about his ex and the holiday was very good and I hope that Hallmark brings him into other films. He is a legit dramatic actor that owns his roles and he did it here.
Art continues to be stolen and the two detectives are getting frustrated, but there is one last chance to nab him. There is a big event where Miller will be playing Santa and they are volunteering as elves with a 2 million dollar decoration that is sure to be stolen. When the dust settles, Miller is arrested and it seems pretty clear, but if you are a horror movie fan that loves whodunits, you know this isn’t over just yet.
THE SANTA STAKEOUT isn’t a holiday classic, but Hallmark put out a decent one. Yeah, I’m just as surprised as you are, but fuck, I have to recommend this one. It did well capturing the Christmas spirit but also had a good cast that really played their roles well. They were all easy to root for. So, if you are looking for holiday cheer and a film to enjoy and you’ve watched every single Xmas movie known to man, as I have, and want something new, here you go. Watch this one.
