By Melissa Antoinette Garza
I have loved the movie, THE LEGEND OF BILLIE-JEAN (1985), since I can remember. As a child, I wanted to be the titular character so badly. For a little girl in the 80’s, this was my feminist anthem! When you combine it with the JOAN OF ARC themes throughout and a rebel punk soundtrack, this classic was on a whole different level of feminine celebration.
The film starts with Billie-Jean’s (Helen Slater) little brother Binx (Christian Slater) having trouble with some rich bullies. Billie and Binx don’t have much. They’re poor, live in a trailer and their father is dead. Binx’s prize possession is a Honda scooter that was bequeathed to him. The rich kids steal it.
When Billie goes to the police, Sgt. Ringwald (Peter Coyote) is nice, but not that helpful. Ringwald tells them to wait 48 hours, but before that time is up, Binx gets his ass kicked in an attempt to steal it back. The bike is damaged badly so Billie decides to take it up with one of the bullies, Hubie (Barry Tubb). Hubie is confronted at his father, Pyatt’s (Richard Bradford), beach shop. Billie tries to get the money from Pyatt.
At first, the old man agrees and tells her to follow him. The sleazebag perv ten tries to blackmail and force Billie, a teenager, into a sexual relationship. I hate Pyatt! He needs to be put under a flooded prison.
Thankfully, Billie gets away. Binx and their friend Ophelia (Martha Gehman) comes in, at just the right time. Binx grabs the money from the register to fix his bike and accidentally shoots Pyatt with a gun he found in the drawer. It isn’t a life threatening injury, but it’s enough to scare the siblings to go on the run.
Ophelia agrees to drive and their friend Putter (Yeardley Smith) insists on going. Pyatt lies and claims the kids were trying to rob the store and shot him. Ringwald is suspicious and grows increasingly irritated with Pyatt’s antics and lies.
Meanwhile, Billie meets Lloyd (Keith Gordon), an eccentric, millionaire who wants to help. He agrees to be her hostage. I love Lloyd. He likes horror movies, finds humor in the dark & bizarre and likes strong women. He’s geek chic, so of course, I crushed on him as a kid. A few years later, when I saw Keith Gordon in CHRISTINE, I was still so taken by Lloyd, that I couldn’t help cheer the villainous Arnie on. I took the position of “Those bullies deserved it! Good job, Arnie!”
Lloyd helps them make a video and delivers it to the news. Billie sporting a new short hair cut, inspired by Joan of Arc, explains what really happened. She becomes a hero to punk kids everywhere. ‘Fair is fair!’ That’s the mantra and something I scrawled all over my elementary school book covers.
Pyatt, acting as low as ever, tries to commercialize on the success and sells posters and shirts with Billie-Jean’s likeness on them.
In the end, he’s confronted in marvelous fashion. It’s an amazing scene and one I often rewind and watch a few times, each viewing.
Years ago, when I worked at Blockbuster, I’d get in trouble for bringing in my bootleg copy (it was unreleased at the time) and playing it on the DVD player. I was a Shift Leader, back then, and knew that I was valuable enough to get away with doing stupid shit for the little amount they paid me. My best friend, Meghan Winkler, worked there with me and I can’t tell you how many nights we’d switch from this, to PURPLE RAIN (1985) and ROSEMARY’S BABY (1968). I would only put the R rated ones on after 10 pm. My thoughts were, if you had your kid out that late, it’s on you. When I was confronted about LEGEND OF BILLIE-JEAN, I couldn’t help but say, “Fair is fair!” Meghan laughed. The manager did not ,but I got away with it and did many times thereafter. Hey, when others asked WWJD, I always asked WWBJD – and the answer is always, be a bad ass chick, who can rock out any situation.
Speaking of rocking out, (and that’s a segue, people) the soundtrack is beyond awesome. We’re talking Divinyls, Wendy O. Williams, Pat Benatar, and Billy Idol.
This is the kind of movie all girls need to watch. The female teens are all good role models. Putter finds the courage, thru Billie-Jean’s metamorphosis, to stand up to her abusive mother. Billie-Jean rescues another boy from a scumbag drunk father who beats the hell out of him. She stands up to the man who tried to rape her and rip her off. This is my kind of feminism!
This coming of age classic depicts everything from surviving an attempted sexual assault, a first menstruation, feminism, sexuality, empowerment and the importance of developing friendships with other strong women; and all of it is done in a very PG-13 way. Great performances all around. One of the highlights was the soft fatherly touch that Peter Coyote showed in Ringwald.
Dean Stockwell, also does excellent, portraying Arnie’s father and the District Attorney. Stockwell has given so many great performances in both cult films and sci-fi TV, alike. He’s fantastic and brings so much to every role.
I can’t suggest this enough. I adore it. I watch it all the time and I still rock out to the songs. My best friend and I are still sending each other these videos and YOUTUBE clips of this, even now after more than 15 years. It has a strong amazing impact and it certainly is an obsession of mine.
Scared Stiff Rating: 9/10
