By Geno McGahee
It’s never a good idea to pick up a hitchhiker, and you know that they are trouble if they are in a horror film. Even hot ones are bad news as proven by HOUSE OF 1000 CORPES. Ugly ones usually cause trouble as shown in THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, and in the 1986 flick THE HITCHER, hitchhikers that look like Rutger Hauer are not to be trusted. In fact, this Hauer hitchhiker proves to be the biggest pain in the ass hitchhiker there is.
We begin with Jim Halsey (C. Thomas Howell), driving a car cross country for delivery. He is dozing off at the wheel during a rain storm and decides that picking up a hitchhiker is a good idea. The conversation will keep him awake…but he gets more than he bargained for. The hitchhiker, John Ryder (Hauer), is not very personable and quickly reveals that he is a serial killer and plans to kill young Jim. He nearly shits his pants when Ryder puts a switchblade to his eyeball…and rightfully so. I’m sure that most people would be stopping at Walmart for a new pair of BVDs if a serial killer whips out a knife and puts it to their face.
Halsey actually gets rid of the hitchhiker but it’s not over by a long shot. The game officially begins and Ryder now pins his murderous rampage on Halsey. The cops pick him up for the murders and lock him up and wouldn’t you know it, Ryder kills all the cops and now Halsey is wanted by just about everyone for killing police officers as well as civilians. He is totally fucked.
A couple things about the police station death scene that stuck out for me: One, Trooper Dodge was played by Gene Davis of 10 TO MIDNIGHT fame, where he was the naked killer squaring off against Charles Bronson. Now was I the only one that thought that the character could have returned as Ryder’s partner…his naked partner? Two, how freaking impressive is it that Ryder took out all of the cops? The only other guy to do that is the Terminator and he is a robot that cannot be killed. Ryder can be killed and still went balls to the wall and got it done. That’s impressive.
In most horror films, the guy on the run from the bad guy needs a love interest. We have Nash (Jennifer Jason Leigh), the girl from the diner that falls for the bad boy, and eventually ends up on the run with him. Some girls like bad boys, like the group MASE for instance, who sang the song “bad boy.” What a provocative tune for its day. That whole “make me feel so good” line screamed sex. What else could it be talking about? Well, whatever they were referring to, the point is that women go for the bad boys and this movie is evidence.
Hauer and Halsey both are convincing in this film and I especially liked this villain. He had no remorse, loved what he did, and in a way was apparently trying to help the kid become a man. When Halsey spat in his face, he was amused, and he never really tried to kill him. He got him in a world of shit, but you get the feeling that he did that too to amuse himself and to put the kid into his situation where he had to do things he didn’t want to do to remain a free man.
THE HITCHER was a fantastic film from start to finish. On top of being just a great horror film, there was the addition of some great car chases, explosions, and cops getting killed left and right. There is something for everyone here. If you have ever been pulled over unjustly by a cop and everyone has, this will make you smile. It’s nice to see a cop get a what for once in a while. Bravo Mr. Ryder.
I also would like to see a crossover film: THE HITCHER MEETS JOY RIDE. I would love to see Rusty Nail pick up John Ryder and just watch the fun begin. Who would blink first? I have no clue, but that’s the fun part! What a great movie that would be!
Scared Stiff Rating: 7.5/10. Hitching can be a Bitch(ing).
