By Melissa Antoinette Garza
What do you get when you combine Jesús Franco’s brazen sexuality and gore with Frankenstein? The answer is a fucking masterpiece of over-the-top insanity.
THE EROTIC RITES OF FRANKENSTEIN (1972) opens with Doctor Frankenstein (Dennis Price) and his loyal assistant Morpho (Jesús Franco) are working a machine to torture the poor silver faced monster (Fernando Bilbao). The doc is pleased because the monster can speak. His torturous methods have worked. His happiness, however is short-lived because Melisa (Anne Libert) attacks them.
Melisa is a gorgeous, but blind fem. She works with rival scientist Cagliostro (Howard Vernon). Cagliostro wants to kidnap the monster and have him mate with a woman to create the perfect master race. Cagliostro is mad, but the monster could do far worse. She’s fabulous. She has long brown hair, black eye liner to bring out the darkness of her eyes and an open robe that revealed a naked body sprawled with green feathers glued to her flesh. I like her. I like her a whole lot. I even like her when she tears thru Dr. Frankenstein’s neck with her teeth. She’s not a vampire, but damn if she isn’ a vamp.
Cagliostro has a harem of women, but he doesn’t treat them all that well. Rather than taking in a nice show as two of his gals play, he throws them out. A boy like that doesn’t deserve a show. That said, he is preoccupied with te beauty of Melisa so I see his dilemma.
Melisa is Cagliostro’s partner more than prisoner. She calls him master, but they have a much more equal footing than he does with those held against their will. There’s a number of bevvies chained to the wall that Melisa plays with. Blind or not, that woman can get a prison door lock undone instantly. She’s all sort of yummy!
Vera Frankenstein (Beatriz Savón) returns to town upon hearing of her father, the doc’s, death. She wants to know how he died, but no one seems to have a precise cause. Vera takes her father’s body and brings him back to life for a few moments with the magnetic power of his machinery. He tells her what happened and begs her to get the creature back. She vows to avenge him and to bring the monster home. She’s a badass fem in her own right, but admittedly I’m team Melisa in this one. She’s just all sorts of bad sexiness that I like in my Goddesses. The angel on my shoulder says to stick with Vera, but the devil is naked and hot so I’m gonna go with that one.
Dastardly Melisa meanwhile is looking for the best suitable mate for her monster. She finds a gorgeous gal, Madame Myra Orloff (Carmen Yazalde) with strawberry blonde hair and a propesnity to get nude in front of her fem help. Though Melisa can’t see it, she can sense the sensuality thru a window pane. That’s how phenomenally beautiful Myra is. Melisa returns to the silver faced monster and instructs him to go to Orloff and to grab her. He does as instructed, pounces on her and then brings her back to Cagliostro.
They strip her robe open to reveal her full fem Goddess nakedness. She’s chained and a bit out of it as Melisa, still decked in green feathers, starts the ceremony ritual. Robed men, freaks, and people in skull masks watch on as they decapitate the poor gal.
Thankfully, that’s not all we see of Myra. She’s brought back to life to be The Monster’s gal pal. Meanwhile, Vera tries to stop it all.
This is a crazy lovable flick with a bunch of mild BDSM fantasy fodder. In one sequence the monster donned in his silver makeup whips a naked man and woman, who are tied to one another and placed onto spikes. The entire cult watches on enamored with it, but none more enticed than Melisa. Melisa is wild. I love her. Cagliostro and Melisa hypnotize Vera to do their bidding in a bunch of delightfully devious ways.
I love Jesús Franco. There will never be another director quite like him. He was a balls-to-the-wall type of guy who just didn’t give a fuck. He put the fem goddesses in control and in front of the cam in every possible type of role. He had sex kittens, dominatrices, vamps, princesses, extroverts and the repressed. I love it.
On an important side note, this was the first film of the cult icon Lina Romay. I love her. I love her so goddamn much.
Currently, this is on Amazon Prime via the Horror TV app. It’s a good monthly price if you’re looking for some uncut, uncensored gold.
Scared Stiff Rating: 8/10
