By Geno McGahee
“Come with me if you want to live.” – Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger)
There are some movies that are more than movies. I consider them events. Movies like JURASSIC PARK, DIE HARD, THE FUGITIVE and the 1991 Arnold Schwarzenegger film “TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY” fit into this category. These films are just so big but they maintain the quality. T2 is a film like no other and is solidified Arnie as the star of the action genre at the time.
In 1984, TERMINATOR was released and it was dark and edgy with a certain grit to it. Arnold became the cyborg from the future sent to destroy the mother of the resistance. The film was special and when you have something that does well at the box office and then soars at the video stores, the demand for a follow up is high. Arnold, at the time, was riding high with a string of successes like PREDATOR, RUNNING MAN, TOTAL RECALL and TWINS. The time was right and a return to the TERMINATOR story was in order, and the return proved that a sequel can meet, match and sometimes beat the original.
After Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) defeats the Terminator in 1984, she is locked away and her son and future leader of the resistance, John Connor (Edward Furlong), is living in a foster home and proving to be trouble. He is using all his mother’s teachings of survival to steal money, which he spends at the arcade with his friend…who has a terrible mullet. I hope that hairstyle won’t be back.
Now we have two terminators sent back this time. We have one to protect, the good terminator (Schwarzenegger) and we have the new liquid metal upgraded terminator, the T-1000 (Robert Patrick). Amazingly, they still couldn’t figure out how to send them back with clothing on.
Terminator goes to a local bar and fights off a bunch of redneck bikers and he does it naked. Getting your ass kicked by a naked guy is probably the worst because when you get dropped all you see is cyborg cock and it looks like human cock and that is just wrong. The Terminator steals a bike and is now dressed like a biker and is now going back to his mission of protection. Some would argue that he wasted time going to the bar when he should have went straight to John Connor’s home to start protecting him, but if you were John’s foster parents and a naked guy showed up for your 13-year-old foster son, would you be comfortable with it?
The T-1000 shows up naked too, which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. He’s liquid metal. He could make it look like he has clothing on, but no, he has to prove he has robot junk too. I would have taken his word for it. He begins looking for John but is remarkably aware that the other Terminator is on the scene. I have to say that I like Robert Patrick in this role. He’s usually very good, but here he really shines. He brings a personality to the T-1000 that makes him that much more interesting. The T-1000 was apparently programmed with a jerk personality. He’s not all business. He is actually a sarcastic prick. At one point, a police officer asks if he’s OK and he replies: “Say, that’s a nice bike.” He knew he was going to kill the guy and take the bike, but he wanted to taunt him first for his own amusement.
After a shootout at the mall, the Terminator saves and teams up with John. John discovers that the Terminator must do what he orders and he has two immediate demands. One, they must save his mother, despite the odds, and two, he has to swear that he will not kill anybody. They didn’t move fast enough. Poor Sarah gets her face licked by a fat guy at the mental hospital. Do they call them mental hospitals? It doesn’t sound PC to me. So, I apologize if I said something offensive.
As with all action films, the security guards and truck drivers are never safe. Truckers are thrown out of their trucks to the hard pavement and the guards are murdered without much thought. One fat guard notes that it’s “his lucky day” after he gets a full house on his coffee cup that features playing cards, only to turn right into the T-1000 and be killed. Another security guard gets his legs shot up by the Terminator. I guarantee he’s going to get fucked. I bet he loses his job and his medical insurance doesn’t cover everything. Thanks Obama.
Sarah gets broken out of the nut house (a more offensive term I bet) and the psychologist, Dr. Silberman (Earl Boen), finally discovers that her story about the cyborg from the future was true. Amazingly, they let Silberman live and he just stands there and watches a battle between the two killer robots. I have to say that the liquid metal T-1000 is a fantastic bad guy. He uses his arms as metal blades or as Arnie would put it “stabbing weapons” and no matter what damage he gets, he returns to form.
Bringing Sarah along for this turns out to be problematic. She tries to kill the Terminator that is saving their ass, noting that she “don’t trust it.” She’s also a basket case. The next time that John sends a terminator back, I’m sure he will say “leave mom with the fat face-licker. She’s too much of a pain in the ass to have her tag along.” She even tries to kill Miles Dyson (Joe Morton), the man responsible for creating the processor that ends up leading to the rise of the machines. When she is stopped by the Terminator and John, she breaks down into a sobbing mess. Why did they bring her?
Dyson, remarkably, teams up with the Terminator gang and they try to destroy all of the advanced technology that he created, leading to a big showdown with the police. We also see the Terminator learn how to be cool from John, but that’s tough because John is far from cool. If your best friend has a mullet, you know that you’re not cool.
The T-1000 and the Terminator meet up in a great final showdown, leading to the liquid metal guy losing and the future becoming something potentially different and positive. The Terminator begins to learn how to love, noting that he now “knows why you cry.” Right when he learns how to love, he has to self-destruct. How sad. I am sure is robot junk is functional and he could have used it to give Sarah some action. A robot lover would probably be a good thing. Picture a vibrator or pocket pussy with a brain. Intense.
T2: JUDGMENT DAY is as good as it gets. It’s an amazing follow up to an amazing movie. There really isn’t anything bad about this film, outside of Sarah Connor becoming a complete badass. She lost some of her charm that she had in the first one. In her defense, if a fat guy is licking your face day in and day out, you’re not going to be happy anymore.
Rating: 10/10
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I’ve seen The Terminator 2 movie about twelve times. Where as I’ve only seen the first Terminator film and the third one about twice. The Terminator 2 is a classic and was certainly better than the first one with awesome special effects. This may have been Arnold’s best movie. I know it was Patrick Robert’s best role to date. I have to admit to find Edward Furlong somewhat irritating as John Connor. Probably the same way you found Linda Hamilton’s role as Sarah. From what I understand from people who have seen the new Terminator film, Arnold is great in it, but the movie kind of sucks.