By Geno McGahee
The 1980s was the best time for action films with stars like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chuck Norris, Steven Seagal, Jean Claude Van Damme and Sly Stallone making big films and big money. The 1990s began and a few new faces were on the action scene, including former NFL star, Brian Bosworth. Bosworth had everything it took to be the man, but he never seemed to catch on.
STONE COLD was the first film that Bosworth starred in and it’s just a great action film with nothing but fun throughout. Joe Huff (Bosworth) is a cop on suspension for insubordination, but, like most badass cops, they stumble upon a crime. A bunch of goons took over a grocery store, which is a great location for an action scene. I remember how much I loved COBRA for starting the same way. There needs to be more action films that begin in a grocery store.
Huff kicks the ass of every bad guy with ease and when asked what the hell he was doing by his boss, he replies “clean up on aisle four.” Talk about greatness. I would love to kick somebody’s ass and have a cool line like that. I just need two things: A guy that I can beat up and a cool line ready. I also can’t start the fight. I don’t want to go to prison. I am not holding Bubba’s belt loop.
A group of bad bikers, headed up by Chains (Lance Henriksen), is stirring up trouble. One of their head guys shot a priest and launched him out of a window, for some reason. He is now on trial and the new prosecutor, Brent Whipperton (David Tress), vows to take down the mob and the bikers, which infuriates Chains. Henriksen shows again how awesome he is. He does such a good job in this role. Another notable biker is Ice, played by William Forsythe. He’s no joke. He plays a good crazy. He was very much like he was in his role in OUT FOR JUSTICE.
Huff is hired by the FBI to infiltrate the bikers in hopes to take them and the mob down. He is the only guy badass enough to take down an army of bikers. Working alongside Huff is the nerdy FBI guy, Lance (Sam McMurray), which you saw a lot in action films. These films always had a nerd to work with the tough guy and McMurray does a good job in the role, but he is just on the fringes of the operation.
Huff takes on the name of John Stone and gets in with the gang, even impressing Chains and moving up quickly in the group. He becomes the right hand man of Chains, which creates great conflict between Stone and Ice. Wow, these dudes have cool names.
As time goes by, Stone learns more and more about the group and their evil ways. Biker groups in films are never good news, unless they are the Wild Hogs. I doubt Bosworth would get any bullshit from Tim Allen. Other than that group, bikers are always up to no good, and with Chains as a leader, they begin turning up the heat and killing people on the regular and targeting the prosecutor as well.
The former girlfriend or “old lady” as bikers call them, of Chains, Nancy (Arabella Holzbog), realizes that her old boyfriend is going crazy and that she digs Stone. The feeling is mutual, but he must stay undercover and continue the mission to take down the bad guys.
The cover is blown and the final mission to take down the prosecutor at the courthouse is in effect, leading to an amazing finale to this action film. It has everything that you would want. There are car exploding, people getting thrown through windows, helicopters being blown up and more. And then, you have the one man army, Huff/Stone storming down and taking out the nasty bikers and seeking out Chains. When he finds him, the film gets even better.
STONE COLD is not a deep movie. There’s not a lot to it. It’s just a fun action film that is entertaining throughout and proved that Bosworth was the goods and could carry a film. Unfortunately, it just wasn’t meant to be for him. I do give this film credit for giving Huff a Komodo dragon as a pet. I take some of the credit away when they put Bosworth in speedos. I didn’t need to see that bulge! I have a 60 inch TV and that bulge looked 3D. That was Bone Cold.
I highly recommend STONE COLD. It was tremendous. If you like over the top 80s action, this is for you. If you don’t like 80’s action, you can fuck yourself.
