By James
Starbucks is ready to stop their patrons from using their free WIFI to look at porn. Really? Really? Well, they let these homeless bums sit in the store for as long as they want as I’m trying to enjoy my coffee and they’re worried about some dude playing pocket pool in the back? Get a life Starbucks. I’m putting you on blast!
I got that gold card and I use it all the time to get my coffees and don’t worry. It’s not like an EBT card. I actually pay for this one out of money I earn. I don’t get it from the state for being a lazy ass bum as the EBT warriors do.
Now, I spoke with Starbucks gold member known as “Machine” and he had the following to say about this latest news concerning porn at Starbucks…
“I am STEAMING MAD! I like the hardcore stuff with my iced coffee. You know, sit there and drink down some strong cup of Joe while a guy named Joe bangs a girl from behind. That’s a spicy meatball if you know what I mean. Now, I have to bring in my porno magazines to read which is tough because half the pages are stuck together. This is unacceptable. They allow these junkie panhandlers into the store and they take a big dump in the bathroom and that’s OK, but if I want to look at hardcore porn with groping and bukkake, I’m the bad guy. Glory hold y’all. I’m going to find another coffee joint that lets me look at those ball slapping flicks that I like so much or I’ll sue the company for blue balls.”
Wow, I never saw it that way. Very interesting.
