By Christopher Houtz
Did you ever notice how stupid humans are? I mean, as a race we are complete and utter idiots. We start out dumb as stumps, and just get more moronic as we get older. Oh I know – as we grow we learn, gain experience, acquire wisdom, and apply all of that knowledge as we go. Well, I disagree. Let me give you a quick example before we get to this review and you will see where I am coming from.
Ya ever watch a mother try to stuff some mushy pureed slop into her baby’s toothless maw? This is the height of human stupidity. The spoon goes in, the baby turns it’s head in defiance, closes it’s mouth squishing most of the nutrient rich gruel down it’s slobbering stupid chin, the mother scoops that saliva covered, unwanted goop back up with the spoon and shoves it back in this brilliant blubbering humans gob.
“Yeah, ok Christopher, we’ve all seen that, so what’s your point smart guy?” – is what you are all thinking (I know right? I’m mind reader too – I’m awesome) – My point is this…humans are dumb. We have absolutely zero survival instinct. Any, and I mean, any newborn animal of any species, comes out the old snapper hungry and ready to eat. Why? Because they instinctively know that they must ingest food to live. Human babies? Not so much. We just lay there in our filth fighting off the food we need to live. Just plain idiotic.
What does any of this have to do with my review of the James Shanks directed film “Stag Hunt”? I am just saying that art imitates life. Film makers and writers copy what they know. They put their characters in situations that typically are not found in real life, try to make them relatable in some way, and have them do stupid things that make no sense. Just like real life human babies. Just like the derpy dudes in “Stag Hunt”. (See how clever I am? I segued my ‘stupid baby rant’ into the start of my movie review. You may now applaud.)
So, three mates, and one of the mates soon to be brother-in-law, take a hiking/camping/drinking/trip across the desolate English moors in one last hoorah celebration before the upcoming nuptials of one of the mates. In the process, they manage to do lots and lots or really stupid shit. Oh yeah, they get stalked by one of the mysterious urban legendary ‘big cats’ of the moors along the way.
Stupid shit checklist: Make sure you let the most irresponsible and immature of the group be in charge of planning the trip. Let the fat one in a tent alone with the food. Don’t check to make sure the MOD (a British military test/firing area in the moors) is or is not firing live mortar rounds during your excursion. Have a compass? Nope. Flares? Hellz naw. Have even the smallest glimmer of an idea of what you might do in case, just in case, something might happen (even what to do if one of them sprains an ankle) – PISS OFF YA WANKERS! We don’t need no stinkin’ contingency plans!
And that, my friends, is “Stag Hunt”. But hold on to your horses for a second there pardner…..I really, REALLY, liked this movie! Yep. Liked it. Although how in the world the British ever acquired and empire with all of their complete ineptitude is beyond me, this film is just a lot of fun. It is not scary, it’s doesn’t have Oscar level performances, not much blood and gore, nothing supernatural, and not one iota of originality, but what it does have it oodles of style. It has fun moments of humor, some honest tension, believable interactions between the characters, a bit of action, and by the end I found myself falling completely in love with these four dumbass goofballs.
In conclusion, turn off your mind, turn on your movie viewing device, grab a few of your best mates (you will recognize them in the characters of “Stag Hunt” – hell you most likely will recognize yourself), a cold sixer of your favorite pint, sit back and enjoy yourself. It may be dumb, but fuck it, we’re humans, we’re stupid, and we love stupid shit.
Until next time – peace out bitches!
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