By Geno McGahee
I thought that I had seen the worst movie of all time when I sat down and watched MR. JINGLES. Well, I stand corrected. Perhaps I was too harsh on that clown flick. After watching the 1983 flick SLEDGEHAMMER, I have come to the realization that I have discovered the worst thing ever filmed. Move over BLOOD CULT, step aside MR. JINGLES, there is a new shit movie in town, a movie so bad that I found myself laughing aloud…well, laughing at myself for buying it. I love obscure horror, especially if it is from the 1980s or the 1970s. That’s where you find the good stuff…this wasn’t good stuff. I actually had somewhat high hopes for this one. I figured it was before the straight to video flick, before the video store really took off, but this movie was ahead of its time I guess. Considering that BLOOD CULT was advertised as the “first movie made for the home video market,” I guess that SLEDGEHAMMER was made for the big screen? The drive in maybe? I am guessing that this movie was supposed to never see the light of day and just be viewing pleasure for those that made it.
Written and directed by David A. Prior, this is a terrible random mess. I don’t know if you can credit anyone with the writing of this movie because it is obvious that the majority of it is adlibbed and the “actors” involved seem to be having too much fun and not really working well off each other. At one point, they have a food fight…strange for 30 something year olds, and then we have some other meathead licking his girlfriend’s face and then goosing another girl. Hey, if you’re going to make it up as you go along, why not play some grab ass?
The story begins with a couple fooling around in the living room of their house after locking some poor young boy in a closet. Out of nowhere a sledgehammer smashes in the head of the man and then the woman gets it. Well, it takes about ten minutes of her screaming in slow motion before we see the blood hit the wall, but I assume she was killed. This movie uses slow motion every other scene, including an unbearable walking and playing guitar scene that goes on forever. Keep in mind that this movie is just point and shoot…no planning, no script, I’m sure, and the actors are just told to “do something,” I would wager. One scene, one of these meatheads are walking around a barn, looking through some things, and never finding anything and then just returns to the group. It made no sense. It had zero value in the movie.
Borrowing from FRIDAY THE 13th, the group gathers in a circle to speak of the legend of SLEDGEHAMMER and they could not have hired worse actors. This is some of the worst acting ever to grace film. Of course this conversation awakens the evil soul that carries a sledgehammer, a strange weapon of choice to hurt somebody, especially if you’re a demon guy that can’t be hurt….well, actually you can at times. At other times, he can’t be hurt.
The demon guy is tall and is wearing a strange see through mask that is far too tight for his big head, but the flannel shirt that he wears fits just fine. He kills one of the characters and then turn into a young boy and then back into the giant and then back into the young boy. It really makes no sense.
This is really just a group of friends getting together after watching a good horror movie and deciding that they wanted to make one and didn’t write a script and didn’t have a plan other than the weapon being used. There is not one redeemable thing about this movie, unless you are searching for the worst movie ever made. Search no more. I have found it. Avoid this one people. Watch BLOOD CULT or MR. JINGLES, because they are masterpieces compared to the disaster that is SLEDGEHAMMER.
Scared Stiff Rating: 0/10. Undisputed worst movie of all time.
