By Geno McGahee
“I’m the jerk.” – Darren Doane
So many people trying to destroy Christmas. Have you noticed that? Starbucks not putting enough festive stuff on their cups was only a small part of the problem. Kirk Cameron opens our eyes to a whole lot more in the 2014 film “SAVING CHRISTMAS.” Written and directed by Darren Doane (who also stars in this), SAVING CHRISTMAS has gotten terrible reviews for the most part, and I found out why. In a way, this is what I expected. It is a preachy message from the know-it-all annoyance known as Kirk Cameron.
We begin with Kirk Cameron sitting near a fireplace and a Christmas tree and talking about how great the holiday is. To his credit, he makes some valid points. The time brings out the best in people (and the worst if you watch some of the black Friday brawls), but there is a big problem. There are a couple of groups that want to stop the holiday. There are the people that want you to keep your business inside your house and there are people that want to inform you that your Christian holiday is a farce. Kirk tackles these two groups in this film as he deals with his brother-in-law, Christian (Darren Doane), who has gotten disgusted by the festivities. Doane is one of the most annoying “actors” ever to be filmed. He makes Cameron tolerable.
As Kirk has fun at his family party, he notices that Christian is missing. He finds him sitting in his SUV and gets inside to speak with him. Have I mentioned that Doane can’t act? I did. Sorry. Anyway, Christian begins talking about how Christmas does not honor his favorite god. He points to the pagan nature of the tree and gift-giving and complains that Jesus doesn’t get enough attention. He talks about how Santa is being worshipped and it’s wrong and if you re-arrange the letters, you get “Satan.” This idiot, Doane, is attempting to be funny and NONE of it is working.
Cameron continues to educate him, but he is resistant. He continues to mock the idea of Christmas and just rambles. Did anyone question Doane on his script? Anyone? With Doane directing this, I’m sure he thought he was knocking it out of the park. Cameron starts talking about his religious stuff and how he can apply it to every Christmas tradition and it begins to get to Doane. The Christmas trees represent crucifixes. Santa is a defender of the faith. I have to say that compared to Doane, Cameron isn’t doing a bad job here. He’s corny as hell though and tough to stomach, but he’s small potatoes compared to Doane.
So, Cameron convinces this moron to return to the party and celebrate the party. He starts saying “I’m gonna be that guy” and he slides into the room and lands at the foot of the tree where Cameron talks of how the holiday honors Christ…blah…blah…blah. He rambles on for a few, repeating what he has said for the first 70 minutes of the film.
Kirk Cameron forces his message down the throat of the viewer with a lot of thrust, but I expected that. I wasn’t counting on the one element that would essentially ruin this movie: Darren Doane. His unbelievable and patronizing performance was the more abrasive one that I have seen in some time.
SURVIVING CHRISTMAS is complete garbage. The story is simple, the performances are wretched, and it does nothing for the viewer. A Christian movie can be good. I recently watched GOD’S NOT DEAD and that shoved the message down your throat in a fun away…but not here. This was about as bad as it gets.
The sad thing is that Kirk Cameron isn’t a terrible actor, but he acted down to the level of Doane and there was nothing to this movie. I think it’s fair to say that Christmas wasn’t in trouble and that it didn’t need saving and if it did, this was not it. What a terrible shitty movie.
Rating: 1/10
