By Geno McGahee
The 1970s was the best time for disaster films. Films like THE TOWERING INFERNO and THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE were hits and led the way for a film like ROLLERCOASTER to be produced just a few years later. When it comes to scary situations, a terrorist at an amusement park, blowing up rollercoasters, is up there. Most people love amusement parks and riding the coasters and the idea of a terrorist shoving a bomb up your ass is terrifying.
I noticed that the Banana Splits were at one of the amusement parks in this film. I love the Banana Splits and immediately gave the film a point for it, but took that point away just as quickly when I saw Steve Guttenberg. I’m sorry to all you Guttenberg lovers out there, but I’m not one of them. I’d like to see that robot in SHORT CIRCUIT punch him in the balls.
A Bomber (Timothy Bottoms) targets amusement parks and starts by setting a bomb on a rollercoaster, and I found it amusing the comments of the riders as the ride began moving. They say stuff like “you’ve got nothing to worry about” and “it’s too late to turn back now.” The riders all die in spectacular fashion as the bomb goes off and the rollercoaster flies off the tracks. A poor old guy that works at the park goes into shock. We learn later that they just keep that old dude employed because he’s worked there so long. I bet they fuck him on pay. They probably make him scrub the shitters too.
An inspector, Harry Calder (George Segal) is on the case and concludes that there has to be a terrorist after two separate events at amusement parks. He doesn’t get much support from his boss, Simon (Henry Fonda), but he eventually supports him with his investigation. The Bomber wants to make a deal and hits up the amusement park owners for a million dollars to be delivered by Calder. The deal goes down but not before the Bomber makes Calder go on every ride. So, he’s not all that bad. He wants people to have fun and others to die terribly.
When the Bomber finally gets the money, he discovers that it’s marked bills and now he’s really ape shit. He targets another rollercoaster and plans to shove it right up the ass of all those amusement park shitheads that fucked him over. Nobody knows where he’s going to hit, but Calder figures it out. There is a coaster being opened for the first time on July 4th and there is a huge celebration happening, including a terrible band. Unbelievably, the crowd is going crazy for them. The women are throwing themselves at the lead singer as he performs, but damn, the music is bad. I kept thinking that it wouldn’t be bad if the rollercoaster crashed into the stage and took out that band.
Calder and the bomb squad disable the bomb on the coaster, but the Bomber realizes it and quickly leaves to get another bomb. In the meantime, Calder’s girlfriend and daughter, Tracy (Helen Hunt), arrive at the park to enjoy the festivities. I expected more drama out of this situation but they were quickly ejected from the park by Calder.
The Bomber fails at his second bomb attempt and now the chase is on as Calder tries to take him out. (Spoilers ahead) I was hoping that the Bomber would be killed in spectacular fashion. I would have liked to see Calder wrap him up in explosives, put him on a coaster and blow him and the entire ride up. Calder then would light a cigarette with the fire and say “hope you enjoyed the ride.” That would have ruled! It didn’t happen.
The ending could have ruled. The Bomber is hit full speed with a rollercoaster, launching him into a fence, but the effect blew my grandfather until he creamed his jeans. I was really disappointed. It’s a 2 hour movie and it’s a decent movie, but I figured that the Bomber would have it shoved up his ass in a big way. It didn’t happen.
ROLLERCOASTER is a decent watch, but it should have been so much better. They could have put in more Banana Splits, less Guttenberg, made more rollercoasters blow up and killed the bad guy in the right way. It’s a great concept for pretty unremarkable.
