By James Witherspoon
Yo check this out. I was checking my emails and I had 4,504 trillion emails. Y’all know that Ask James is the biggest thing going today and I try to answer all my emails, but can’t get to them all. So, I grab a couple of them and I’ll let you know what I think. YA HEARD! I’ll even talk to the cellar dweller, EBT warrior, soy boys out there. Maybe I can cure a few of them!
Remarkably, one of my LEGENDARY friends, Quentin Tarantino, hit me up. I love the guy and we go way back. So, he had something to say about my last Ask James about name-droppers.
James,
This is your LEGENDARY friend, Quentin Tarantino, and I am a big big fan of you, your writing, your column, you as a person, you as a sex symbol and scared stiff reviews. I read your last Ask James about name-droppers and there have been many that have claimed to know me. There’s been some hillbillies that have even said I’ve called their trailer. I’d get mad if it wasn’t so funny. Like I’d be friends with a hillbilly mother fucker and then I hear that some of these bottom-feeding indie filmmakers are claiming they know me. Well, if they keep talking, I’ll call the welfare office and cut off their EBT card. As you know, I’m a legend and I don’t mingle with criminal hillbillies.
Quentin Tarantino (Still awaiting confirmation that this was the LEGENDARY filmmaker)
Well Quentin,
How you doing my boy. What do you expect? A lot of these hillbilly mother fuckers don’t have jobs and scam people for a living and pretend that they know cats like you. I am in the mix in a big way but I never name-drop. I met this guy last week that told me that he knew you, but the guy shopped at Savers and didn’t have a pot to piss in. YA HEARD! I’m glad you don’t mingle with that white trash scum.
James,
What do you think of the original cast coming back for the new Ghostbusters?
Chadwick Ritter
Chadwick,
First, cool name player. I am looking forward to getting the guys back. I know those soy boys will be throwing their tampons at the movie screen, but sometimes you need some dudes to do it right. I can’t wait to see this shit go down. I’ll be front row. YA HEARD!
