By James Witherspoon
Y’all bitches crazy. I just got the word that PornHub released its most popular searches and “Aliens” is their number one. Really? Really? I was interested to find out what sort of guy jacks off to aliens and checked my email. Last night, I got 6.8 billion emails, and remarkably, one of those dudes was into aliens. YA HEARD!
Archie Patterson is a self-proclaimed “Extraterrestrial XXX Video Lover” and had quite an insight into this matter…
(Note: Some of the comments of Patterson may not be suitable for all readers. Proceed with caution.)
“I want to plow E.T. If an alien came to earth, I’d blast it in his face. I go to PornHub about 256 times a day, looking for new alien porn, but they’re not really aliens. I don’t want ancient aliens either. I don’t want some alien with white pubes. I want younger aliens that have mouths. Some people think that aliens don’t have mouths. I want ones that do. Hell, what would I do with one that didn’t have a mouth? E.T. bone home.”
Well, I guess we learned a thing or two.
