By Polly Hughes
Y’all may not know that in the 80’s, I was known as “Pacman Polly” because I had that crazy Pacman Fever and was the queen of the arcade. My years in the adult film industry made me an expert at working the joystick to success. In 1985, I began to hear of this Nintendo Entertainment System and I had to check that shit out. I had the Atari 2600 and I never thought that they could improve on that. And, by the way, E.T. was the bomb. The movie sucked but the game was great. Don’t believe the haters. Haters gonna hate.
Nintendo is celebrating its 30th birthday and Pacman Polly wishes that great system a big happy birthday. This big bitch still has her NES game console. I had to buy it twice because my stupid ass husband is so stupid that he jammed a 2600 cartridge into it. I should have jammed it up his ass. The dummy. I won’t even go into what he did to R.O.B. the robot.
The games that the original Nintendo put out there are all time classics. Duck Hunt, Kung Fu and Super Mario Bros. were great fun and far better than the 2600. After that video game crash, this system put all other game systems on blast. Technology was moving forward. I remember playing Pong and thinking “this is the shit” but playing against my dummy husband was no challenge. I should get tax benefits for housing that moron.
The NES system inspired so many other systems that came along since. If we only knew that my shithead family would be “gaming” instead of GETTING JOBS, maybe we would have stopped this from happening. Hey Marty McFly, we need you to go back in time and stop the gaming before my idiot family hits the welfare office. It’s Duck Hunt, not EBT Hunt.
Now, I’m going to go dust off my NES and play some original Super Mario Bros., unless that idiot shithead husband of mine shoved another 2600 cartridge or something else into it. This is Pacman Polly Hughes and I’ll see you at the arcade. (Yes, there are some arcades left and I don’t give a fuck if I see you there or not.)