By James Witherspoon
Y’all know that I’m a busy man and I’m on the road and I’m rocking and rolling and getting with my ladies, but I looked at my inbox and saw that I received 358 billion emails last night and I had to pick one lucky fan to answer. I want to tell all you ladies out there sending me tit pics…keep it up and you dudes sending me dick pics…man put that junk away. And why yah sending me a limp dick pic? That’s an insult.
Now here’s some of the immensely popular segment: ASK JAMES.
Dear James,
First and foremost, congrats on your Writer of the Century Award. It was so well deserved and I don’t know if you remember me but I met you in Las Vegas a few years back and you were just inspirational. Anyway, I met this guy walking around and saying he was a filmmaker at one of these conventions and he was there with some woman in her 80s made out of plastic and he began dropping names like Quentin Tarantino and Peter Jackson and saying he knew them but the idiot lived in a trailer and was such white trash! I told him and that plastic hideous creature he was with to take a hike, but how do you deal with hillbilly mother fuckers like this? Do you confront them? Do you ignore them? What do you think of name-droppers?
Michael De La Gomez
Michael,
I remember you player. Yeah, I have met these fools out there dropping names. You hear a fat clown like that dropping names, you walk away fast. They got nothing man. I know Tarantino personally and let me tell you, he would not associate with a hillbilly mother fucker. Take that to the bank and cash it ten times.
I stay away from conventions. It’s a bunch of cellar dweller, EBT warrior, trolls, but you’ll find some of these idiots there trying to pretend their big shots as they shop at Aldis and get their clothes at Savers. How a man gonna say he’s a big deal when he can’t even afford nice clothing?
So, Mike, take my advice…ignore these chumps.
