By Forris Day Jr.
Ok…I get it. I died and went to hell and now I must watch a string of absurdly stupid movies, “Nacho Mountain” being the latest in a series of terrible Chemical Burn releases. What could I have done in life to avoid this damnation? I tried to do all the correct things and treat people right, but here I am watching “Nacho Mountain” with no hope of receiving a decent movie from Chemical Burn in the near future. I had warnings in life. People would say you should do this or that or you won’t get to Heaven, but had I known I would have to endure movies such as “Nacho Mountain”, “Community College” and let us not forget “Lady of the Dark” I would have mended my ways. Alas…it’s too late. Well played Lucifer.
Perhaps I exaggerate, but not by much. There seems to be a glut of terrible films out there and they seem to be landing in my DVD player. I try to look at them unbiased, realizing someone has put a great deal of time and energy into making this movie, but come on! You can do better than this!! Just because you have a camera and scriptwriting software does not mean anything you bang into your word processor is worth paying attention to. Ok…relax…deep breaths.
Nacho Mountain tells the story of a man who knows how to eat. His name is “Keefer.” Keefer eats a lot, which of course means he goes to the bathroom a lot and the filmmakers let us be there for the whole journey. Keefer loses his job and like any well written story they have him go…you know…to the bathroom in the tank of the toilet. Man do I hate movies that pretend to be intelligent but are aimed at the lowest common denominator. Anyhow, Keefer starts his own food eating competition to make some money using his skills of gluttony. Find out if he is successful in his endeavor by watching the movie.
Painful to watch, I want my 1 ½ hour back, not worth the plastic it is printed on…did I miss any? You get the idea. “Nacho Mountain” should be placed directly into the trash. Use the time you now have to spend with your family. You’re welcome. If you really, really want to watch it, and want to lose a few brain cells, there is a link where you can buy it at the bottom of this review.
Rating: 1.5/01 – Skip the Chips
