By Polly “News” Hughes
I stood in line behind some fat ass to buy my tickets and I didn’t win again. I didn’t even get a number. How the hell is this possible? I played three weeks in a row and still didn’t win? Now, this Monday, I get to play again and there’s 1.6 billion on the line.
I hope some old fuck doesn’t win. Doesn’t that piss you off when you see some crypt keeper cashing in a ticket? What are they going to do with the money anyway? Spend it on Viagra? Buy front row seats to Jeopardy? It’s ridiculous. I want to win. Dammit, it’s not fair!
So now I have to walk back to the corner store and deal with that weird guy behind the counter that I caught looking at dick pics once to buy my tickets. I am going to play my lucky numbers this time and not do that quick pick shit anymore. I’m going to pick memorable dates like the day I graduated, my birthday, and the day that I learned about Bukkake.
I’ll let you know how I do this time around.
