By Melissa Antoinette Garza
Some say Telly Savalas portrays the devil in this film. I contend he portrays Telly Savalas in it. Moreso, I contend he always plays Telly Savalas and he’s awesome at it.
Lisa Reiner (Elke Sommer) is hanging outside listening to a tour guide talk about an artistic depiction of the devil when she wanders away. She heads to small shop where she meets Leandro (Telly Savalas) who is buying a very realistic looking mannequin and small carousel. His appearance brings back memories of the satanic artwork she saw earlier and she leaves.
She runs into Leandro again and he’s nice enough to give her directions. When she does Carlos (Espartaco Santoni) runs to her as if they know each other. He calls her by the name “Elena” and when he grabs her, he seemingly falls to his death.
She ends up getting stuck in the rain and hitches a ride with a strange couple and their chauffeur George (Gabriele Tinti). The young wife Sophia (Sylva Koscina) sits still and quiet making eyes at the driver, while her slightly menacing husband Francis(Eduardo Fajardo) keeps a stern inquisitive look on his face.
They end up having a car trouble and Sophia is pissed! George offers her his hand and helps her get out of the vehicle, which Francis takes note of.
The group end up in front of a house and go to ask for help. Leandro comes to the door and introduces himself as the butler. Lisa is taken aback by his presence and backs away only to run into Maximilian (Alessio Orano). Max asks them to stay and then begs his blind mother, the Countess (Alida Valli) to allow them to spend the night.
The Countess agrees but only allows them access to the cottage and not the main house or grounds. When walking them up to the cottage, Leandro puts on the old Savalas charm – lolli and all. That man had Pizzazz with a capital P!
Immediately upon getting into the bedroom, Sophia and George start sweating up the sheets. Georgie-boy professes his love to Sophia who deeply cares for him too. Bored housewife syndrome has her and she feels no guilt. For shame! For shame!
Meanwhile, Lisa can’t catch a break – other than Leandro’s advances. Who loves you baby? Kojak – that’s who. Leandro isn’t the only one who has eyes for Lisa. Max is smitten like crazy. He runs to her saying how happy he is that she’s back. She has no clue what he’s talking about, but considering the dead guy from earlier keeps showing up, she’s probably happy for the distraction.
It is soon revealed that the household believes Lisa to be Elena. Elena was Max’s girlfriend. She shared a passionate affair with the Countess’s husband Carlos. They make love on a fur shag rug in a room filled with mannequin heads and a kick-ass candelabra with the same mannequin theme.
As Lisa is reliving all of Elena’s memories via a dream, Sophia and Francis get into an argument and hit their car door open revealing someone has killed George. Sophia is sad to see her lover die. Francis decides to take his wife and leave while Leandro offers to get rid of the body. Sophia wants to stay for the funeral, but Francis says no. Sophia takes her anger out like a mature and rational adult.
The Countess wants Lisa gone too, but Max is busing romancing her in the garden out back. Lisa runs off and into Carlos who pleas with her to escape with him. He tells her to remain by a tree while he wanders onto the grounds. When she follows him, she sees an alter for a body that is being prepared. Leandro is walking around the casket and singing. He breaks the bones to make the body fit appropriately in the casket. When she sees the face in the box, she’s horrified to see that it isn’t George, but Carlos.
She bolts, but once again comes face-to-face with a seemingly very alive Carlos. He chases her to a banquet hall filled with mannequins that seemingly bleed.
Soon more blood is spilled and everything runs wild in the mansion. Max is a super crazy psycho, but that’s nothing on Leandro who is a demon dishing out punishment TALES FROM THE CRYPT (1972) style.
The last scene is hilariously weird, crazy fun.
Overall the film is a slow-burn but a good one. The acting is great and Savalas is always a treat. It’s currently on SHUDDER via AMAZON PRIME and it’s also free on YOUTUBE if you get there before the copyright cops do.
Scared Stiff Rating: 7/10
