By Forris Day Jr.
I’ll be honest here. There is no story that I could decipher in “Lady of the Dark”. It had a promising open with some dark and creepy sounding narration about serpents and such but soon became just an hour or so of ethereal background music with a sexy woman walking around her house, half naked and even fully naked at times. Now don’t get me wrong, she is a very attractive woman but I would have liked to seen a bit of a story. The supposed story goes like this – Eve, an unsuspecting married woman, is selected for the re-birth and transformed into The Lady of the Dark – emerging as a ravenous, instinctual killer who shows no mercy. Ooooooooookayyyyyyy…I did not see that but, well, she is hot and half naked so you get points for satisfying the lowest common denominator part of my brain.
To me this really is less a movie and more a video that you might play as background viewing during a college frat party. Perhaps that is what it is supposed to be. Congratulations…mission accomplished. I really did enjoy the narration at the beginning and end of the film, although it seemed somewhat out of place with the actual movie. Perhaps it was added in, I’m really not sure. Lots of artsy shots with fisheye lenses creating the effect that we the audience are voyeurs which was kind of cool, because let’s face it, most people are to a degree. Don’t tell me you’ve never poked around on other people’s pictures on Facebook or whatever social network you belong to. You my friend are a voyeur.
To sum it up, it’s a vampire movie that really is just a soft porn movie. We all know Vampires loves sex, just watch a Twilight movie if you don’t believe me. This woman is just a tad bit darker than the Team Edward crew. All her teeth are pointy, not just a couple and she loves walking around the house in panties if anything at all. If you want to watch a sexy woman walk around the house naked and not get arrested when your neighbor catches you, then buy “Lady of the Dark” and you can safely sit in front of your TV set, be a creepy guy (or girl) and no one will really care.
Rating: 4.5/10 – Vampire, shmampire, she doesn’t scare me…
